Today during our church service, the one question that kept coming to me in my time of worship was; "Have you ever been one of the ninety-nine?"   I couldn't wait for God to unfold what that would mean to this congregation.

To me; it meant the thankfulness I felt when I was at my worst point in my choices, running my own life, living the great life full of parties and friends and laughing and drunkenness and all the fun that goes with that, only to find my neglected family in utter ruin...and finding myself in a place where all I could see is the hopelessness in a handful of pills that in utter despair might end the life that I knew...  Yet, God, had a much better plan for me and my family.  He did end that life that I knew, He allowed it to die with my repentance, left it in the past and he put me in His arms, as well as the arms of a body of believers to walk my new life out with, redirected me, taught me, comforted me, disciplined me and turned my hopelessness into LIFE, real life.  Full of hope and courage, strength, and faith in something bigger than I could have ever asked for.

A reminder to me, of the time that God came after me, "the one" a sheep who had wandered off, and left the ninety-nine.  The time that secured my loyalty to "The One" who held all the answers.  The One that took the time, the One that holds the entire universe in the palm of His hand, who sacrificed, all....who dropped everything, to come after "the one" who was running away.

But...I also know that when God speaks...it's not just "about me".  

I say that with a huge smile, knowing that God works in amazing and a far larger scale then my little "about me" perspective.

God is just that good...

So, I'm anticipating the seeds that are planted in the congregation when God prompted me to ask the question, "who has ever been the one of ninety-nine that God came after"?  Although many hands went up... as anticipated and prompted...some did not.

Did that mean that they were afraid to raise their hand, they weren't paying attention, they didn't want to participate in the question...or they never experienced being "the one" yet?  Was that possible....that someone out there was waiting for God to recklessly come after them, knowing they needed to know that God would drop everything to chase them down.  So I prompted..."if you've not experienced being the one out of the ninety-nine, I hope you experience that opportunity soon.

And soon it was...and how soon I was able to witness God answer.

It was my rotation to teach the 10-14 year old's and I was excited for the opportunity to speak into their lives.  I love to encourage people, I love to give hope and I love when people understand that their lives make a difference!  Especially children.  Too many times, we adults shove kids to the side, we make them feel like they are just dumb kids and that we as wise adults have all the answers.  They will simply have to wait their turn...until they mature and experience more of life to be teachers....but I don't agree with that statement...I look for God to speak in all lives, I ask for wise counsel, input, I love participation, I rarely love to teach...although I love to study.  

So together we studied, 2 Peter Chapter 2, verses 1-15.  After we read scripture, in my studies, I asked each wise counsel, what God spoke to them about, or what stood out to them or what part jumped off the page to them....each wise counsel, ranging from ages 10-15 each shared their God Moment with me...and one wise member said, 4 words spoke to me, "even after I'm gone"....

I stopped in my tracks...I knew God spoke and I couldn't wait to find out what. I worked at prompting my young man at what those 4 words meant to him... I felt in my spirit I knew what it meant,  but I didn't know for sure.  He wouldn't budge.  So I said to my young man...."God is speaking directly to you...you know that right?  He smiled and his eyes told me for certain that he knew it was for him.  I encouraged him to share with me when God responded to his prayer, what those 4 words meant to him.  He promised he would.

After class, he walked up to me and he said, Angie...I know why those 4 words mattered to  me.  I encouraged him to tell me.  He proceeded to tell me that his grandpa passed away a couple years ago and he really misses him.  I hugged him, and I shared with him, I lost my grandpa a year ago also and that my grandpa was my hero so I understood how much it hurt.  With tears in his eyes, he shook his head "yes".

I reminded him that God dropped everything, to speak with him, to remind him that God understood too...that God wanted him to see specifically that "even after I'm gone" I'll always be with you...

I love that my young man was able to witness God come after him, "the one" out of the ninety-nine.

I'm reminded of Matthew 18;

The Parable of the Wandering Sheep10 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. [11] [a]
12 “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? 13 And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. 14 In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.

I am thankful that I get to witness God's love for others...on a daily basis.  

I wonder, if like me, you've ever filled in potholes in your life with tar and pebbles?

What I mean is this...we all seem to go through life trying to fill in the voids in our empty.  We spend so much time chasing things to fill voids... haven't we?

I mean let's talk reality.... 

When we are lonely, we search for companions, things, or activities to keep us from feeling the feelings of "lonely".

When we feel inadequate, we search for positions, or things that will make us feel like we have some sort of "status".

The list goes on and on, but how many things that we put into our potholes of void are intended to go there?  

I've filled my potholes with tar and pebbles for years, and still as a Christian, I sometimes find myself still doing the same old thing that I used to do before I gave my life to Christ.  The familiarity of knowing how to find needs in tar pits becomes habitual and comforting.  I sneak back to the old tar pits to get a quick fix.  

But tar and pebbles are no fix, you and I both know it.  It's a mess, put into a hole, to satisfy for a "time".

I realized the other day that coming to Christ and being transformed was amazing and a miracle and a very needed first step.  It looked like massive transformation on the outside and people could see it.  I stopped hanging out at unhealthy establishments, I stopped listening to unhealthy music, I dressed different, I spoke different, I became a follower of Christ and I shared Christ with others.... I read the bible and knew scripture.   Great, right?

YES!!!!

BUT... that was just simply the beginning, not the finale product.

After what I perceived as completing the "hard part", and I was walking about my Christian walk, feeling pretty secure with how far I'd come...in true thankfulness, not in a boasting, "look what I am now" sort of way, but confident that I was going to find an eternity in heaven...

I got a look at my heart....and I began to weep.  It wasn't as beautiful as my outward appearance.  

This my friends, is the real journey for me.  I have to deal with things people can't see, I have to put out the very carefully protected items that I stored away inside, where they were carefully hidden, under all my outward attire.  I have to expose them in order for God to heal them.  But these things to me are like "my precious" as was the ring was to Gollum/Sméagol from the Lord of the Rings : The Two Towers.  

I've always feared people's opinions of me, and many times, I've assumed their opinions long before they were given an opportunity to form one.

I'm reminded of God's Scripture in 2 Peter Chapter 1 that tells me:

​5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.

10 Therefore, my brothers and sisters,[a] make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, 11 and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I'm so very thankful that God sheds light on dark places.  Unlike the enemies and the world, He doesn't do it to shame us, or scold us, but to strengthen us, to heal us, to protect us and guide us, as we walk humbly along side others in this journey we call LIFE>

For years I've struggled with not fitting in....

​I come from a broken home.   My mother and father divorced when I was 2.  I've saw my biological father a few handfuls of time.  My mother remarried shortly afterwards only to find her and I in an extremely abusive relationship.  After that, we moved in with my Grandpa for a short while and then out on our own for an even shorter while.  Then my Mother met her 3rd husband, which was obviously a charm, and this man adopted me.

​During this time, I've been to 4 schools in my 12 years and lived in 5 different towns.  Now, I'm quite certain many people have done the same or worse, but it created an atmosphere for me in which I didn't know where I fit, or where I belonged.  I could blend, or stand out, but I didn't feel I ever fit anywhere.  I could count on friendships for a short time, only to know they'd be over in a season. 

​I remember the first time I walked into our church family.  It was that of a family and friendships that I'd wanted for years.  The closeness there was unlike anything I had ever experienced.  Yet walking in there, meant closing yet another door to my friendships I had prior to giving my life to Christ.  Which again, placed me in another environment I had to try to adapt to.  But by this time, I learned to be quite the chameleon, blending in to any environment I entered into, at least on the outside, but on the inside, I was still very lonely and very lost.  I'd tell others, "I just don't feel like I fit".   They couldn't understand.

​You see I had changed to please so many environments that I was apart of, I lost sight of me.

​That's when it's time to dig in and find your true identity.  For me, it was a period of stepping out of everything I knew to stand alone in a very dark place.  I continue to remind people that this is NOT the type of thing to do when you are wounded.  But during this time, I was grounded in Christ, and I was in search of finding Him, personally, without any sort of environment around me.  I needed to determine who God was in my life and how to depend on Him for my needs, instead of searching for love through people and things.

​I still search for love from people...that may never change, but that method usually ends in broken hearts for me, so instead, I do the one thing I can do and I try to imitate the love of Christ, and unfortunately many times that falls through.

​Yet, one thing is certain, the love of God never fails. 

No matter what happens in my outward environment, my inner environment is being healed daily.  I'm no longer a Chameleon searching to fit in, but instead a child of God.  I'm not adopted, I'm not in a step family,  or fearing a separation from biological family.  I'm not having to move towns to find it, or new friends.  It's simply there, all the time.  I'm a part of a family on a much greater level.

​In all honesty, I'm alone still much of the time,  but I'm rarely lonely.

​I'm reminded of the truth in scripture that tells me:

Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household,
Ephesians 2:19 NIV

I love that our journey to fit in somewhere, CAN land on secure ground, no matter what the road traveled looks like to get there.

Do you ever get tired of turning on the TV, or listening to news, or fighting with others about what the right religion, right political party, right race, creed or color is? 

I do.

​I can barely stand scrolling through news media feeds and reading the hundreds and hundreds of comments validating someone's belief about who the best is.... To me, it's not only debilitating, but wrong.  And I'm not the only one who thinks so.

​Why do we spend so much time determining who is right among people?  Sometimes it is certain agenda's such as whether we believe killing a fetus is taking a life.  People are very passionate about this topic, as well as many others. and we fight for the outcome we believe is best suited for our children and our upcoming generations. 

​When we find hot topics, such as this...we need to be certain that we don't fuel the fire of our own agendas.  We are not to lean on our own understanding, but are to search the scriptures and seek out God's direction on the matter.   Instead, however, we have a belief system that we know what is best for our towns and communities.

​It's also my understanding that this type of conflict will never cease until we each make a decision to follow Christ, or where we want to spend eternity.  Even then, it becomes a daily sacrifice to make God choices.   It has been this way since day one, throughout Noah, throughout Sodom and Gomorrah, throughout the history of the Bible, you will continually see a race, creed, religion, or gender fight for their own agendas.  Satan knows as well as our flesh, that a house divided against itself can not stand.    But Standing on God's Promises will always prevail. 

​I'm reminded of the scripture
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Galatians 3:28 NIV

​If we could remember this scripture, we'd solve half of the worlds issues...

If you were to ask me if I spend a lot of money on clothes or jewelry, my answer would be no. I stopped shopping for myself years and years ago. All the money we had went to our boys and honestly after an affair had struck our marriage in 2005, I honestly have not felt interested in myself or what I wore. Now, don't get me wrong, I try to dress nice, with thrift shop clothes and I wear makeup sometimes, and of course jewelry I made or had years ago, but nothing you would call "high maintenance" in any way shape or form.

​Recently however, I've lost a couple pounds, and got a new career that I absolutely love. At my new career all the women are dressed so professionally and beautiful with jewelry to match their clothes and perfect shoes with each outfit. There hair is always done beautifully and I can't help but say I admire them. So, I ventured out to a cheap online clothing store and I bought some really cute tops.

​I wore one of these cute tops to church the other day. It was really cute. But, it was also a little big. As a common custom, one of us lucky members gets to take care of the worship leaders children during worship, and it's always a pleasure. It was my turn this day. This particular child is the snuggliest children ever. After worship I also get the privilege to provide the announcement for the week. This particular time, as I was giving announcements, I noted one of the amazing ladies of the church gesture that my shirt had fallen off my shoulder and had exposed my bra strap. Realizing that holding the baby stretched my cute shirt a bit as well as loosing weight made it hand lower. I fixed it and went on about the announcements.

​After church we had our first baptism ceremony at the church. Normally we hold them at the lake, it was an amazing and overwhelming day, which I'll share more in another blog later.

​After baptism, we had a potluck, and I was able to sit down with an amazing couple and share testimony. At the end of the conversation the lady I was visiting with leaned into me and said, "I often want to go up to people who dress inappropriately in church and ask them why they dress like that, do they not know that how they dress can cause another to sin"? Now, I'm not certain if she was directing that comment to me, or if it was part of her testimony, but it struck my heart and I took it personally. My throat got hot and the tears welled up, but I held it back and asked to be excused.

​I left church that day and cried for about 4 or 5 hours or so. I went through all sorts of emotions as to why I was no longer fit to give the announcements in church, and let me tell you the list was more than a mile long. I typed out the "I'm not doing announcements anymore" to the church leaders, but then the phone rang (one of the church leaders) except I was crying so hard I couldn't answer. I deleted the text. My husband couldn't understand why I was upset and neither could my Mom who gave me a big hug and said "Ang, everyone knows your heart".

​Yet, I couldn't help remember the person I was before I came to Christ... it had been a long time since someone had called me "the names of the past". This new friend I made didn't know me from the next person, she only knew me by what she saw that day, and that day I may have given her an impression of who I used to be. Or maybe she didn't mean me at all, but God was pointing something out.

I didn't like it.

​I gathered my thoughts together and I thanked God for the scripture he reminded me of through this time. God is a God of correction, like it or not. I like it, even though it doesn't feel very good at the time, because when corrected by God, I know that there is no condemnation, other than that I bring upon myself. When God corrects you, it is to edify you and to build you up and place your feet on solid ground.

1 Peter 3 New International Version (NIV)3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

​Thank you again God, for touching my heart and helping women to see that they are more than the clothes they wear....

Perfect Peace.... is that possible? 

​Let's say, You go throughout your day and the alarm clock didn't go off, you have 15 minutes to get ready for work.  It's a big day because the boss is going to be there and you are up for a possible promotion.

​You remember just before you head out the door, that school pictures are today.  The kids haven't gotten hair cuts, you didn't help them pick their clothes out and you didn't write out a check.

​Your mind is tied up for several weeks now with thoughts of cancer, because you found a lump and you are awaiting an appointment with the doctor.

​On top of that your spouse has been late several nights in a row and he is acting strangely for the past couple months.

​The reason you are trying for the promotion is that your on your final notice of not paying the mortgage and if you don't come up with 3K somewhere, the bank is going to foreclose.

​Perfect Peace Ang...you're going to try to use Christianity to explain perfect peace in this mess, or more?  My answer is yes.

​The Answer, is always Jesus.

​I'm reminded of several passages in scripture about peace.  Mainly because I think our entire worlds are, have been, or can be similar to the synopsis above.  So many things in life that rob of us peace, because we've invested time and energy, our hearts and our lives into them.  They are important to us and rightly so, we want to protect them.

​I've lived outside of peace for several years.  Full of anxiety, fear of the future, fear of what was to come, afraid in some cases, I'd never get back to where I was before the anxiety and depression hit.  But I did, and in many cases better than I was.  I have family members that have lived outside of peace for many many years, consumed with fears of sickness, death, dying.   Fear paralyzes it's target and keeps their focus on it.

​This morning, I read:
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 26:3 NIV

​Yes, I remind myself, in all situations... the answer is Jesus. 

We shall do our part, such as show up for the interview, we shall call the school and let them know we forgot the check for pictures, we shall pray over our health and families, and go to the Dr.'s appointment in faith, we shall ask our spouses if something is wrong and we shall be good stewards of our money and seek financial classes, call the bank for extra time.  We shall do our part, but we do these things first by seeking the kingdom ways and answers and then by taking action.  When things go wrong, even after seeking the kingdom as they often will, we look to Christ in faith that He has already prepared a way.  Many times, it doesn't look like you want it too... Walk through it anyway, trusting in Christ, with your eyes set like flint on Christ.

​Oh what a journey it will be!

​**** Share with me your testimonies of times where you were full of anxiety and you chose to turn your focus to Christ******

There has been times in my walk with Christ that I find myself overcome with a feeling of "lowliness".   That can entail feelings of being lonely, feelings of unworthiness, feelings of not fitting in, as well as a million other emotions that are distractive from truth.

​I sometimes really take a look at my life and ask myself "do I reflect Jesus well?"  Most times my answer is no.  I have a lot of heart issues I need to work at. Or more so, be willing to allow Christ to heal.

​In addition to that, I also find the distraction of Social Media on all levels to be a major distraction.  We trade a call on the phone with a glance at a post.  We trade physical connection with (((cyber hugs))).  We trade 4 hours of our day scrolling through posts for connection.  We justify it because our lives are so busy, we can still feel attached in some small way to see pictures of loved ones so we can keep up with the fast track of life.

​Further, we idolize our positions in work, and we conform to the world in which we are placed.  Instead of taking a bold stance and being vessels of Christ, we take the world stance.  We laugh at inappropriate joking, we comment about the shortcomings of others, we utter frustration when someone has done us wrong.  Yes, all a part of who we are,  but not a part of who we should become.

​I took sometime the last couple weeks to pay attention to how many times outside of church that someone brought the gospel to me, either in thought, action or deed.  I can't count the number on one hand.  I also paid attention to how many times I was bold enough to share the gospel, either in thought word and deed, and I'm not certain I can count the number on both hands... a little better, but probably not where I should be.

​I think we can all let the excuse that "we are not adequate" penetrate our motives and somehow use it as a way to just live lives paralyzed in rocking chairs.  I'm not opening your mail and preaching to you, I'm sharing my own heart which is vulnerable and open to correction.  I say that because I'm certainly not a victim and I know that God is not waiting to send me to hell for my perceived inadequacies.  I know he's equipped me with all I need to live a life complete in Him.  I know that it is by CHOICE that I will seek Him deeper and overcome each trial I face, and I know that He promises never to leave or forsake me.  I know also that His end goal for my life is to have me spend an eternity with Him, in a paradise far beyond my imagination and that Jesus has gone ahead to prepare a place for me.  Yet, I know it is by my own choices, as to where eternity will be spent.  Am I saying that we get to heaven by works?  No....far from it, we get to heaven by our dependence on Christ and our obedience to His Word and His Way, and that at anytime I can choose to throw up my hands and give all that up to live in the way of the world. Some days, it's a moment by moment struggle.

​Through it all, I'm so very thankful to have taken the time to invest in God's word and remain teachable.  I'm so very thankful that grace and mercy falls on a heart willing to be obedient to Christ, even when our flesh is sometimes over powering.

​I'm reminded, through this process, of a passage in Revelation. 
To the Church in Ephesus
2 “To the angel[a] of the church in Ephesus write:
These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands. 2 I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. 3 You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.
4 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. 5 Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. 6 But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.
7 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.

​I love that we don't have to sift through our own thoughts and emotions to know TRUTH.  I love that when we start to justify our thoughts, deeds and actions, by our own experiences, and knowledge that we can put a holt to it to test it to the word of God.  I love that when we start to create storms, tornadoes and bad weather in our atmosphere's, God speaks and calms the storm.

Many of us attend church.  Right?  That’s a great step in the right direction, but is it what Christ came here to accomplish in his 33 1/2 years walking among us?  
 
Is there more?
 
Ask me about my story of salvation…I’ll be quick to tell you Jesus saved my life.
 
Religion can be a great start.  I read the Bible many times before I was saved, with no emotion, nothing more than dry historical words.  They meant little to nothing, except a mirrored reflection of something I could never live up to in my 10,000 plus mistakes in life.  Many people pick the religion that best fits their own beliefs. This can also lead to some human direction and rules which pervert the gospel.  We like to be headstrong when it comes to organizing religion, making sure it’s all done proper and in a particular way.  Then we like to repeat this type of session over and over until it becomes comfortable and ritualistic.  It can help us maintain good lives, structure and stay out of some trouble.
 
Some problems with religion however is that often times, we are so focused on doing it ourselves, we leave God completely out.  We like to argue our belief system until we are blue in the face, which causes issues when there are disagreements among us as brothers and sisters in Religion.  If we don’t believe the same,  we fight people we love to be “right” in our eyes and in the eyes of the Religion we stand for, the name on our walls, or at the door of our buildings.  Jesus referred to religious people as white washed tombs.
 
Let’s turn to Matthew 23:27-28
27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
 
So with my experience and with each of your own experiences that you’ve had throughout your life, are you satisfied with religion, the one that teaches you how to be a good person, or do you long for something more?  Do you maybe feel a longing or desire to travel a journey with Christ to allow each day to become an adventure, led by the Spirit, or are you comfortable with white washed tombs?
 
What are some ways that God speaks to us today?
 
The one I want to speak with you about today is:
 
1) His Word  - which is broken up to three specific translations throughout the Bible
 

• Graphe - the book
• Logos - the message
• Rhema - the utterance

 
It’s the Rhema word, that captured my heart.  It’s the Rhema word, I hope, if it has not done so already, captures yours.  It’s the Rhema word that challenges you to walk out of your religion and into a relationship with Jesus.
 
The Rhema word is what happens, when your Spirit has questions, and you go to God searching for answers. Not on social media, not in Pastors, Preachers, Prophets, not on TV, not in busyness, or in temptations, not in the Word, not in Politics, or definitely not in Religion.  You seek out God in His Graphe (the book) or in his Logos (the message) and as you begin to read with a open willingness to listen for Him…all of a sudden the words jump off the page, or they highlight with the brightest yellow highlighter you’ve ever seen, or you begin to weep…because you know at that very moment, that God just spoke directly to you.  You might not even understand what He’s trying to tell you, but you know that your Spirit just connected with His and He just spoke directly and personally to your heart.  The message was specifically for you, at that very moment, the moment He knew you would need long before you were even in your mothers womb.  He has been waiting for this very moment for you to hear Him speak with you.
 
It’s the Rhema word that made me hunger for more, to sell everything I had and go after what I found in Christ as the Bible referred to in the The Parables of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl in
Matthew 13:44-46 (Let’s turn there)
44 “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. 45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46 When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. 

It’s the Rhema word that made me seek God like the scripture says in 
Jeremiah 29:13 (Let’s turn there)
13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
 
It’s the Rhema word that assured me that no matter what I went through, God would never leave me or forsake me, that He knew the plans He had specifically made for me, as he does for you, that they were plans to prosper us in HIM and help us advance the Kingdom of heaven.  That we are more than we believe, more than a nobody, more than just a speck of dirt formed from dust to return to dust. That I have purpose, that you have purpose.   That the God who created the Universe, who is bigger than I could imagine, took time, precious time, time that meant the only thing in the world and gave me His divine attention and spoke directly to my heart. I assure you, God… speaks. I’ve heard it.
 
It was the Rhema word that changed my perspective, made me see light when all I could see at one time was darkness. It’s the Rhema word that set my tongue ablaze like Jeremiah when he proclaimed in Chapter 20 verse 9 (let’s turn there)
 But if I say, “I will not mention his word
    or speak anymore in his name,”
his word is in my heart like a fire,
    a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
    indeed, I cannot.
 
It was the Rhema word that helped free me from the religious bondage that created chains and shackles around my hands and feet, that created the fear that I would never be enough.  Never good enough, never talented enough, never gifted enough to be anyone to anybody…yet He stopped time to show me, I was everything... to Him.  

He longs to show you too.
 
It was that Rhema word that transformed a sadistic God, into a Father, a Dictator into an encourager, a Warden into a friend. A law that I could not measure up to, into a safety net and a warning sign before the fall.  
 
It was the Rhema word that transformed my heart…one that although still struggles with temptations, emotions, questions and hurts, into a confident daughter, ready to give an answer to anyone that asks….
 
Maybe religion is safe and comforting for you.  Maybe it’s the security of a mundane ritual that keeps you complacent and satisfied, never craving or hungry for more… Content with white washed tombs.
 
But….
 
Don’t take for granted for a single moment that God is still longing to walk in the garden with you.  That the God of the universe longs to spend time with you, who longs to speak words of LIFE into your tired and very weary souls… who illuminates His words at the perfect time, in your desperate need to change atmospheres that advance His love. A single Rhema that is extremely contagious for others to catch His divine utterance into their lives...transforming death into life.
 
Let’s Pray:
God I am overwhelmed at all the times throughout a day that when I stop to listen can hear your heart, can feel your hand, can see your goodness.  I am in awe of all you do….in all your ways, how they are always good, especially during those times where fear floods in and my faith in small.  Let us always be willing to take an adventure with you, instead of living in the confines of a white washed tomb.

I'm very excited that I've been asked to share a message with the congregation at New Hope Lutheran Church this Sunday!  

I think when you are asked to represent God in front of other people, there are a lot of factors that come into play.  Today I want to share with you what I feel it means to

Run Your Race

There are 3 types of races that come to mind when I think of running a race, at least 3 types that I personally have experience running in.  Perhaps you have too because of course as I read through scripture, I find evidence throughout the bible that even the disciples had experience in these races.

The first type of race that comes to mind is a physical race.  Like a 5K marathon type race.  Just attending some high school graduations, I look around and I see many very physically fit youth and teenagers.  My son plays football and they go through a lot of physical training throughout the entire year to prepare for the games.  He is in the weight room at least 4-5 times a week and engaged in some sort of physical education at school and throughout the summer.  Into our 20-30's perhaps we continue to hit the gym, but perhaps when our 40's come as it has for me, I find a decrease in drive to desire running races, or getting into the gym.  I find weight gain is much easier than weight lifting and I find health magazines warn us of a decline in metabolism and how it becomes increasingly harder to maintain the physical appearance and ability as we did as a teen.  These types of races are excellent for our physical appearance and are important to consider.  The problem with these types of races however, is although there are a few 60-90 year olds still running marathons, the majority of us are declining in this area.  The problem with depending on this type of race, is eventually we will no longer be able to run them.

Paul and perhaps Timothy may have related to this race when they assure us in 2 Corinthians 5:1-5 of the  New King James Version  For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed with our habitation which is from heaven, if indeed, having been clothed, we shall not be found naked.  For we who are in this tent groan, being burdened, not because we want to be unclothed, but further clothed, that mortality may be swallowed up by life.  Now He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who also has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.

Do you suppose that he knew there was a better race to be run than just depending on the physical?

The second race that comes to mind and I'm very familiar with is what is commonly referred to as the "rat race".  This race is often run by many people in many walks of life. 

1) The dictionary describes this race as a way of life in which people are caught up in a fiercely competitive struggle for wealth or power. an exhausting, usually competitive routine.

2) The business dictionary describes this race as similar to rats in a maze that compete against one another to be the first to get the cheese. The cheese is a measly reward, yet the rats continue to compete for this small prize. When one refers to the rat race, one envisions rushed, unhappy people working long hours for little pay and little recognition.  Or, they may have an inner motivation to "beat" coworkers to the next promotion or pay raise.

Being in this race, I found rat races typically means no work-life balance, no independence, high stress, lots of compromise and general dissatisfaction with life. The rat race also can also come with high stress that is often detrimental to our health.  I've also found getting out of the rat race can seem impossible and one may lose hope that they will ever be able to control their own life or get ahead.

As you can see the issues with running this race are a selfish and pointless lifestyle.  Sadly many of us run in them in many walks of life stepping over, and hurting other people along the way.  We call it throwing people under the bus, or cutting them down to edify ourselves.  

The disciples has issues as we sometimes do with falling into the Pharisee trap, entrusted with following God's law that we can become narrow sited, pointing out sin instead of helping one another over come it.  We read in Matthew 7:1-5  New King James Version (NKJV)
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.  And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?  Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

The disciples also faced issues with this so called rat race.  We read in Matthew 18:1-5 the question they have about who Is the greatest?
At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.  Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.

Do you suppose that Jesus knew there was a better race to be run than just depending on wealth or power?

Which brings me to my third and final race. 

The spiritual race. 

This is the only race, that I have found worth running to the end.  This race is your personal race to run, yet it's not solely just intended for you, it's also for the body of Christ.  Both those who are running this race with you and those that may join you along the journey.  This race does not look like the physical race, nor does it look like the rat race.  This race is both personal to you and edifying those around you.  The race can only be run by you but can be used to influence and inspire others to run it with you.  Each of you were given a unique part in this race, but also a part that fit perfectly into the whole.  We find personal purpose in this race, yet we find that running it only amplifies a higher purpose. We know that we are perfectly and wonderfully made to run this race and we know that it's imperative to complete it.  This race does not depend on our own ability or strength, our physical appearance, how much money we make or what our title is.  It's not dependent on how strictly we follow the law or how perfect we live our life. 

It depends on Christ only.

We find that this race is about unity and yet diversity in one body.  We read in 1 Corinthians 12:12-31  that
For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and have all been made to drink into one Spirit. For in fact the body is not one member but many.

If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body,” is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I am not of the body,” is it therefore not of the body? If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where would be the smelling? But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased. And if they were all one member, where would the body be?

But now indeed there are many members, yet one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.”  No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary.  And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty,  but our presentable parts have no need. But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it, that there should be no division in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.

Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually. And God has appointed these in the church: first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, administrations, varieties of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Are all workers of miracles? Do all have gifts of healings? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? But earnestly desire the best gifts. And yet I show you a more excellent way.

The reward for this...is not a measly one...it's an eternal one.

This race starts after all the rest fail.  It's the race that begins with asking Jesus to be your running mate.  This race is patient, it is kind.  This race does not stem from envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. This race does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, this type of race keeps no record of wrongs. nor does it delight in evil but instead rejoices with the truth. This race protects all who run it, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

This race never fails. 

It all started on Tuesday night as I listened intently to one of my closest friends in Christ speak of her desire to reach "expectations".  If you are going to truly understand my intent here, I need to give you a little back ground on this particular close friend.  Her heart is nearly 100% checking in with God on everything she does and says.  Although she says she has flaws, you rarely see them because she is so well hidden in Christ.  She is in many people's eyes what one would call an authentic Christian, a Proverbs 31 wife.  So as I listened to her stories of loving to reach exceptions, I caught a glimpse of the enemies tactics in the Godly desire to obtain the ability to meet "expectations".   The enemies subtle twist.... to make you feel like everything should be an "expectation" and your focus on obtaining that Godly desire should expand to you striving to meet all expectations placed on you, and failing.  Instead of focusing and excelling on expectations that are authentic for the Kingdom of God and the Testimony of Christ, led by the Holy Spirit and the advancement in setting captives free.

This followed in lesson, by my coworker leaving on vacation for nearly 2 entire weeks!  I just started a new position, in which I absolutely love and feel blessed to have received, but there is much to learn, and when I say much, I mean overload.  There are only two of us physically in the office and my coworker has been there nearly 30 yrs....so for a 1 month newbie, it  can be pretty overwhelming for everyone I come in contact with.  Their normal quick calls on "how do I do this" turn into them having to come up with the answers for me or me making 10 calls to make sure I have the right answer, and then providing the answer only to have it be not completely correct or missing steps.  My position requires me to be the hub for many many other departments as a whole.  In my eyes, as well as in reality, it is extremely important to get things right.  And I couldn't.  Not because I was making many mistakes, although I was, but because I didn't know all the steps to make each situation run smoothly for every cog that was depending on me.  I am certain many people had high expectations of me and I failed them.  Although frustrated, I did not find myself "stressed" or ready to "throw in the towel" because I was confident eventually I would learn this position and learn it well.  "Confident"... I smile, because up until 2 yrs ago, confidence was not part of my self vocabulary.  You can literally go back and read a blog from 2 years ago to see where I was at with my walk, and I assure you I was trying to understand how to please God instead of people, yet still trying to make sure that while pleasing God, I was pleasing people too.  

What a vicious cycle.  Pulling in the enemies schemes into your Godly dreams, simply results in frustration and eventually if not realized, "throwing in the towel".

So how do we discern the lies from the truth?  Well, as I go back to look at my week's lessons, I am seeing two words.  Expectation and Confidence.  God's in them.  Satan's in them too.  So you have to go to the "Word" to find truth and reject the lies.  

I like to use Biblegateway.com a lot.  It gives me quick study when I've pondered something with God for weeks and sort of brings it all home for me to share it with you.  So, I went to the New King James Version, as it's as close to the King James, but a little easier for me to understand.  (I started with a comic book 12 years ago and worked my way up to NKJV so I am making progress.)  I typed in the word "expectation" and here is the results. (Click the link)  Now read through them and see when expectations are used for good and when they are not.  You will notice from the Old Testament to the New Testament you will find many earthly expectations, that are attached to the "wicked".  In other words, we managed to take a Godly desire and change it to meet wrong motives.  Like placing expectations on people and then shaming them when they can't meet them.  Placing expectations on ourselves and then feeling worthless when we can't obtain them.  Like placing selfish expectations on God and then turning away from Him when He answers with a sovereign answer instead of how we want it done.  I am however, on the contrary, drawn to this scripture when it comes to expectations:

Philippians 1:20 according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death.

Let truth be revealed and grow in you.

I then did the same thing with the word "confident" in Biblegateway.com.  I typed the word confident in the NKJV and this is what I received for results. (Click the link) I read through them and determined which were used for deception and misuse of that word and which ones God intended for growth in my hope to take steps into living my life more in line with Gods will each day.  With that, this scripture spoke to me:

Philippians 1:6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

God still speaks to us today, both in love, grace and mercy, as well as in discipline, instruction and correction...but all for the same purpose, because He loves us so much that He sent His Son to pay the price for our wrongs, so we could understand how deep and how wide and how never ending His love is for us,  in hopes that we will reciprocate that love for Him and others.

Keep pressing in my friends in Christ, there's a whole world waiting for truth and it's amazing to find God's treasures in each new day!