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Read: Genesis Chapter 3

Here we are only 3 Chapters into the Book of Genesis...from the beginning of Creation, and evil, in the form of the Serpent, presents itself.  Chapter 3 of 1, 189 and already man decides to turn his back on God.  I mean things are too perfect here, there has to be a villain, but really, only 3 Chapters in and literally moments after we read of God breathing life into Adam's nostrils, and God creating woman so man is not alone, we find moments later, creation choosing death over life.

First it's interesting to me that the description of the serpent, looks nothing like a man with horns, a tail and a pitchfork.  It actually states that the serpent is a "beast of the field".   If I recall, Adam was brought all the birds of the sky, livestock and beasts of the field that God created and was told he had dominion over them, that he was to not only name them, but rule over them.   So by that account, we can describe the serpent as some sort of beast of the field that God created.  

God created.

Since God knows what he is doing in every creation, I'm certain that although we like to think that Satan is some sort of God's counterpart, we clearly see here, that the serpent is really only a created beast of the field.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Absolutely not equal to God,  and for some reason, perhaps because God brought the beast to Adam to be named, we find this particular beast in conversation with Eve.  Now if you are like I was, you might have thought it was just Eve there with the Serpent, but if you read on, you will see that Adam was there the entire time.  The first conversation we are made aware of is the Serpent, immediately causing doubt by asking "if God really said".  People debate God's Word all the time.  What is interesting is the question was one in which partial truth was presented and then added to.  The Serpent added "all trees" to God's warning and then Eve responded by adding "or even touch it".    We do that to, when we quote scripture to someone, we like to add bits and pieces of our own personal touches on God's word and distort truth.  Like a bad game of telephone.

Regardless, the cunning beast of the field, with one slight change of God's word, redirected Eve's perception of truth and she began to hunger for something she was not intended to have.  She has access to everything, but was warned that one thing would end it all...except she now believed God was holding out on her and she could not resist taking what was not good for her and Adam, right beside her, agreed.  Interesting enough, the beast of the field, God created, brought to Adam to have named and  to have dominion over was actually exercising lordship over Adam and Adam submitted.  The moment that happened...

FEAR and SHAME set in.

Now, as we often do when we disobey God, we find Adam and Eve who once enjoyed their time with God in the garden, now ran and hid from him.  Much like we continue to do today.  So after God requires and answer for their disobedience, Adam blames God, and Eve blames the Serpent.  There is no accountability or truth to their answers.  Sin has a way of changing our hearts to become more like it.

At this time, as a Judge would do over a Defendant, God shares with Adam, Eve and the Serpent the Sentence of the conviction they brought on themselves.  We see at this moment, how the God of the Old Testament, the One we connect with fire and brimstone shows His grace, forgiveness, and ultimate way out.  God always provides a way.  

To Eve, increase pain in child bearing, which I find a question in.  Did Eve have children yet?  If she had never had given birth, how would she know what an increase of pain in childbearing would be?

To Adam, who never had to work a day in his life, who had everything handed to him, was now going to be kicked out of his father's basement and would be required to work for all he had.

To the Serpent, the form of the beast of the field would transform to a belly slider.

And then.... God tells of the ultimate plan of salvation.  Jesus.  In the 3rd chapter of the Bible, the beginning, immediately after the fall, God unfolds His plan for the end of the book...eternity....and we get to watch it unfold, generation after generation, but not before God sets the precedent of the shedding of blood for the forgiveness of sin, and covers His children's fear and shame and nakedness with His forgiveness.  

Yet at the same time, God also stands firm in justice.  Adam and Eve are escorted out of the garden, away from the tree of eternal life.  I personally believe that if this did not take place, and Adam and Eve were permitted to eat from the tree of eternal life, there would have been no hope for redemption and no hope for us. 

God always provides a way, even when we see it as punishment.

God does an amazing job.

#WFILGen2Rev  

Read: Genesis Chapter 2

I think one of the things I like when I dig into a study is slowing down and really paying attention to things that I read in the Bible.  It makes me ask questions, like lots of them, and Chapter 2 is no exception.  I feel like there are questions hidden in the Bible for us to find, it's better than "Where's Waldo's" because I've learned when you find the "aha, that's it!" moment, it forever changes your life.  Sincerely, I'm telling you, I can't get enough. 

So we start Genesis Chapter 2 discussing God's "rest" from creation.  As I mentioned in yesterdays blog, you will find one of those "hidden treasures" in the number 7.  Many times, as you read through the Bible...you will note references to other things you read.  Like it will click in your spirit, like the last puzzle piece that fits perfectly in it's spot.  The number seven, many times will signify that "God is finished" with something, or something is complete, lacking nothing, nothing missing, nothing forgotten, finished.  Keep watch, it's fun.  The Bible is full of things like this, put in place for the living. 

Living. Bible.  Living. Word. Living....like when God formed man from dust and God breathed LIFE into his body and he became a Living Creature.  You will see death many times in the Bible too, and it always signifies separation from God.  But LIFE, that's the thing you want to pay attention to.

I love that God gives us choice.  God always allows us to have options.  To choose between and to have freedom over our lives without restriction.  As the story of Adam unfolds, God places him in the garden, full of food, (at this time vegan only) and the warning is issued.  "You can freely eat of anything in the garden except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil" God says.  "If you eat of this tree you will die". ( Remember I said death usually refers to separation from God.)  God didn't remove the tree, He didn't guard the tree, He instead placed the tree in the middle of the perfect garden and said choose you this day, whom you will serve.  Since this tree is called knowledge of good and evil, both good and evil must have already existed.

Now remember in Chapter one, when God created and said it was good, or very good?  Well, in Chapter 2 you all of a sudden come to a place God says something is not good.  Do you remember what that was?  It was that the man God made was alone.  God said, it is not good for a man to be alone.  In our church, we have corporate prayer on Monday's at 5:15 p.m.  We pray for many things from local to worldwide.  One of our National prayers this week, was to pray for the lonely.  It is not good for people to be alone and there are many alone...hurting, and without hope.  Stop. Talk. Take. Time.

Ok, let's go down that uncomfortable rabbit trail.  The one we love to avoid by answering like this..."well God loves everyone, so I won't say that something is sin, because people I love are engaging in a certain behavior and well I love them, so I'm not going to say they are sinning. " It was in the headlines in the Christian news today...a young lady who just soared to the top of the charts was asked a tough question, one she knows the answer to, but tried to elude it, because the right answer to the wrong crowd can plummet your ratings faster than it took you to get to the top.

Ladies and Gentlemen, can I have your attention please....

The Bible is clear on a marriage union, between a man and a woman.  It's God's plan.  Anything other, is yes, sin.  But let's not get hung up on that sin, and start pointing at that sliver in your brothers eye because I can guarantee you there are plenty more sins that we are ignoring that can fling us into hell much quicker...like that huge plank of lying.  So, let's go ahead and agree that God's word is Truth and anything else is our own flesh.  Is it uncomfortable against the fleshly flash mobs?  Yes, of course, will we plummet down to the debts of no mans land if we stand for truth?  Probably.  Do it anyway.  We aren't getting any where by misconceptions, and opinions.

Which now brings me to my question for Chapter 2.  Adam and Eve did not have any parents that we are aware of correct?  I mean other than God, right?  Well, why then does the Bible reference the marriage union of man and woman as leaving their father and mother and clinging to each other directly after the creation of Adam and Eve, if neither would know what that meant?  

Don't forget to Tweet #WFILGen2Rev with input, discussion, thoughts, answers, edits, and wise council!

Tweet #WFILGen2Rev 

Review: Genesis Chapter 1

I guess this is where it begins right?  The point you make or made a decision about what you are going to do with the next chapters of this book we call the Bible.  Believe or not believe?  The beginning...  In the beginning God made...

I guess, if this is your first time, either reading my blog, doing a Bible Study with me, or picking up the first chapter of the Bible...you are in for a real treat.  Believe or not believe, the next chapters of the Bible, one right after another, will capture you, captivate you, make you question, answer questions, and more times then not, you will find questions that are so deep in your heart, the ones that not a soul would know...are answered, in neon lights, jumping off the page, as if someone had blasted your deepest secret on social media and it went viral.  Guaranteed.  Except you won't find a mile long set of responses of condemnation towards your raw bleeding heart, but instead will find, peace, freedom and a legion of angels cheering your name, as it's written in the Lambs book of Life. 

Yes, your name.

Or... you could go back to your political debate of which political side is greater, and the 400 bashing comments after each post.  I mean it's definitely a Maurey Povich  type scene, and boy that stuff sells, but that distraction, although interesting, will never bring life.  In fact, it brings death.  But again, that's up to you. 

So, let's begin... as God did, in the beginning....God created.

One of the major things I rely on, in any given day, is the Spirit, the Holy Spirit to be specific. As a believer, a new believer, a matured believer, or a wishy washy fence walker, one thing you can be assured of, as I have learned, is that without the Holy Spirit, the rest and I mean anything and everything is pointless.  There's nothing worth doing in life on our own...I mean you can try, I try all the time, even in the knowledge that I can't do anything without the Spirit, I still try on a daily basis to take care of things on my own.  I don't know why...my prideful stubborn, I'll show God, independence perhaps.  But let's face it, I'll be face down in the mud shortly, with the critics cheering, reminding myself... how crucial the Spirit is.  So anyways, I love to read that the Spirit is there at the beginning hovering over the formless, darkness, just waiting for the Word... to begin creating, light.

Light...it's a WORD that many times refer to Jesus, for so many reasons, but in the beginning it was the first thing that God created.  Light, to separate the darkness.  I don't know about you, but I love that.  I love that in creation, the first thing He did, was guarantee that no matter whether we could physically walk with the Trinity (Jesus God the Holy Spirit) or not, we could be assured that creation would be represented by light and that the light would always overcome darkness.  I mean, we could end there, because the rest of the chapters will reflect the outcome of the light overcoming darkness, but if we stopped here, you'd miss many heart changing opportunities, and if you know anything about me, you know I love journey and the potters wheel.  (You'll find out what that is later also, if you aren't familiar with it already.)

Next thing I want to point out is how amazing it is that God speaks something out of nothing.  Read that again...God makes something out of nothing.  He's just that good, that's what He does.  So when you can't see a way, when the possibilities in life are hopeless, be assured that when God speaks, He speaks something into nothing, and not just any old something, God's life, God's vision, God's resources.  Oh, by the way, did you know that God of course, as the creator, owns all.  Do you know that the Bible never, ever, not one time, questions the existence of God, I mean we do, it's like the biggest debate in history, but the Bible, doesn't even blink an eye at it.   Truth just knows, as the rest of the chapters know, that God just IS.  Don't worry, by the end of Revelation, you will be assured as well...I mean, as long as you've asked the Holy Spirit to lead you into Truth.  If you haven't, do so.  No magic spell, no specific words, just ask.  In your own words in your own way.  Let's not complicate it.  If you want it, just ask God for it and He will give it to you as you are open and able to consume it.

I also can't help but notice that after God creates, He reminds us it is "good."  I personally find this amusing, because we can certainly come up with every excuse in the world why we behave in the manners we do that are contrary to "good".  The Truth of the matter is, the "you were born that way" version of you, really truly looks like the image of God.  Truly.  You were made with what some of us cleverly refer to as a "God hole".  We hunger to have this God hole filled, and sometimes we fill it with every possible thing we can.  Like getting one of those preschool boxes filled with shapes and until you find the right hole to match the shape, you can twist and turn that box anyway you want until you make a match.  Well that match, of course is the Spirit, and when you fill that hole with the Spirit, you are made whole and it's a Holy Experience.  I know, clever...or well, I thought so anyway.  The point however cleverly, or not so cleverly pointed out, is still just and tried and true...don't believe me?  Try. It. Fill your life with the Holy Spirit and get ready for the journey. Try. It.

So since we are on that topic, let me just go down this slight rabbit trail.  It's not really a rabbit trail, it's in this chapter.  God does not have an identity crises about you.  He doesn't, and don't get offended.  Seriously, don't.  There's just no time to be "offended".  I know because I've spent a very large part of my life doing so and it's got me "know" where.  Yep, I intentionally mean "KNOW" WHERE. I mean, wait, you can be offended, absolutely, it's your choice, God says so, but it's not going to be good for you, or me, or the #KingdomGoals.  So if you are offended, it might be necessary to stop reading here, or nothing more will grow. 

Except the coldness.  That will grow. 

So make a choice and go with it.  Like one of those books that you get to make a choice and then turn to page #WhateverYourChoiceIs for your outcome.  It will be just like that in real life too.  I bet you can tell what page you really want to turn to, can't you?  .....  waiting.....Ok, so since you stayed on the #TakeNoOffensePage let's dig a little to explain.  So God created human beings in His own image right?  Male and Female He created them.  What does this say to me?  

     1) It says that there is a physical distinction between male and female
     2) It says that there is not a hierarchy between the two.

Now listen, let's go ahead and address the present elephant in the middle of the room.  If you are having an identity crisis, that's not a God thing.  And there is no power struggle in God's eyes between men and women.  Listen, I'm not going to turn this into a God hates you because you are having an identity crisis.  I had one too, sometimes I still have to ask God to remind me who I am, I think most of us do.  In my case, my identity crisis wasn't because of my gender, or my struggle with equality,  it was because of what I told myself who I was...but as I walked with God... when I let God start to speak, (we will get there soon) all the things I told myself I was, was taken to the potters wheel, (there it is again, don't worry, if you hang in there, you will get to the potters wheel eventually, and if you like rollercoasters, you might enjoy it, if not, you might need a Dramamine shortly.)  Regardless, I'll back up off this rabbit trail to remind you, God knows exactly who you are, and has purpose specifically for you, even if you are confused about your identity.  It's common, natural and is a process to walk through if you are willing.  What I will assure you, is you were created to be a diverse, individual, with life lessons to share, to walk out, to explore and to learn.  So let's stop worrying about dividing ourselves into colors, classes, races, cultures, and religions and instead embrace becoming more like Him, instead of more like each other.  There's one to many each others in the world anyway, We were made for unity not competition.  And when I say unity, I mean in God, not in man.

Well, that's it for tonight.  That's a lot to think on, that's enough for one day.  Or one week as this chapter in the Bible went though.  All things created with purpose and perfect.  Can you imagine if we could go back to the simplicity of this week.  The perfectness of this week.  Where everything was good, very good as God stated on the 6th day... and then on the 7th day (many times 7 seems to signify completion, throughout the Bible...just wait till you see it, it gets so exciting, like a hidden treasure exciting....  As for me, I'm going to rest as God did...my bedtime usually comes much earlier than this.  

Hey, before you go, please don't forget to Tweet #WFILGen2Rev with your questions, responses, wise council and more!

(WFIL stands for Wisdom For Inspired Living; Gen stands for Genesis; 2 stands for to; Rev stands for Revelation.  

Don't forget the # Hashtag, or for you old schoolers, like me, the POUND SIGN...you know the one you punched on the push button phone right after you got rid of your rotary one.  :\

PS>  I don't have an editor, and since I shared with you it was past my bedtime, if you are gifted in the editing field...feel free to send me edit corrections, I don't mind.

Division, it's everywhere, and prominent in the United States of America as of late.  It's always been here, yet this political period seems to have heightened a definite division that the news media loves to promote.  So do we.  Just take a look at someone's social media posts...some how or another, a picture of a kitten turns into a political banter for the left and the right. 

For someone like me, that likes to see restoration, this would appear to be a very hopeless, helpless situation.  

However, for someone like me, that has been tuning her ears to discernment...it's situations such as this that makes the answer seem very clear.

Lend me your unbiased ear for a moment.

Do we really believe that it's the Republican's and Democrat's that are causing this division?  If we do, we have a lot of maturity to obtain.

I love to go to the "roots" of an issue.  It takes more hard work, more effort and certainly more time, but I've had more "issues" in my life "resolved" by refusing to use band aids or pain killers and finding the "source of the pain".  I talk it through, (and I do talk a lot, ask anyone), I look at both sides, I pray, and most importantly I turn to the Truth of God to find the answer...and I promise you, the answers always come.

A few years back, I left the church because of a conflict I could not resolve by being there.  My heart was turning bitter and I needed to leave to avoid causing further issues for others in the church.  (You can go back several blogs to hear my heart on that) I feel, still to this day, that I was valid in my bitterness, but I guarantee you, my bitterness was not the reason it was resolved.  What did resolve it was seeking God's wisdom, obtaining wise council from all sides and searching my heart.

In America today, I look to the right, (the Republican view) I see a nation built on laws to protect and uphold what our fore fathers built for us to bath and soak in.  We really do live in the land of milk and honey.  Hard work is what got us here, tears, sweat, wars, and teaching our nation the difference between right and wrong based on a set of principals that are tried and true.  Biblical principals...solid biblical foundation.  If lived in this manner, our country will continue to thrive, our economy will grow and yes, our little guys...our middle class families, will also thrive.  There won't be too many free handouts because the right believes if you work hard, you won't have to be a beggar and the sky is the limit.  You reap what you sew.  However, if you find a widow or an orphan, than those that are able to work hard, should share a little of their milk and honey and help those that are unable to, to live an amazing life in this land of milk and honey.

But then, you get to the unbalanced right....the far right as those would call them.  The extremists.  You know the ones that if you don't follow every letter of the law, that you will be beat into the ground, made to feel worthless and will never be offered a second chance in life.  You are considered an enemy if you do not believe every single letter of everything the right believes.  You know the ones I'm talking about.  The ones that send bombs to homes of people that don't see things their way.   Just jump on social media, you'll find them.  Arrogant, easily offended and egotistical, not willing to compromise on anything.

In America today, I also look to the left, (the Democratic view).  I love that this view is about love and equality.  That no matter what you believe, you are accepted.  This group's  vision is simple. They desire a land that gives all people regardless of race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, the chance to live out their dreams and achieve their God-given potential. They desire to see our country the world’s strongest force for peace and freedom. They fight to see an America that is coming together around what they see as solid Biblical Principals, love the Lord with all your mind all your soul and all your heart and LOVE your neighbor as yourself.  Biblical principals...solid biblical foundation.  If lived in this manner, our country will continue to thrive, our economy will grow and yes, our little guys...our middle class families, will also thrive.

But then, you get to the unbalance left...the far left as those would call them.  The extremists.  You know the ones I'm referring too, the ones that parade around in women's private parts, break windows, cause riots, block traffic and say about any possible thing they can think of to make their point.  You know the one's that will go to any extreme, including beating up others that don't agree with their views, the ones that need hot cocoa and ponies when they don't get their way.  Those that use platforms to cut down our President of the United States to promote their agenda.  Kill babies, live unholy lives and disregard any instruction what so ever, to feed their own needs.

As I'm on point with the political banters...my question to you is this; Is the Republican's and Democrat's the ones causing division, or is it our own hearts?

Here's the solution folks... and it's a simple one.  You know the answer, but it will take some time, hard work, reflection on your own heart,  responsibility, accountability and some extra effort for you to get to the roots.

It's Jesus.  You know it, I know it, and your heart knows it.

So how do we fix it?

We go to the Word of God.  We put away our own understanding, our own beliefs, our own ideologies, our own fleshly desires and we find out what God wants. You might be surprised that he wants both Republican's and Democrats, as he does the Old and New Testament to balance us in His Will and His Truth.  

God wants to you above all to seek Him.  Independently.  Have a relationship with Him.  He wants you to fellowship with Him, ask Him for wisdom and discernment.  He will correct and love.  He will guide and discipline.  He allows freewill, however wrong that looks, and offers grace when we realize that our freewill doesn't line up to God's.

Friends, the answer to our division is closing the gap on our absence of God.  Sometimes for the right, the Republican's, that might look like remembering that it's not just about following laws, but loving others and providing grace.  For the left, the Democrat's, that might look like being corrected when we go beyond loving and forget that we have laws that keep us protected. For the extremists, that might take the right and left to come together and stand against the true enemy.  The enemy that knows that a house, a country, divided, can not stand.

Shall we seek God first, so that all these other things,  good things,  will be added to us?

Today during our church service, the one question that kept coming to me in my time of worship was; "Have you ever been one of the ninety-nine?"   I couldn't wait for God to unfold what that would mean to this congregation.

To me; it meant the thankfulness I felt when I was at my worst point in my choices, running my own life, living the great life full of parties and friends and laughing and drunkenness and all the fun that goes with that, only to find my neglected family in utter ruin...and finding myself in a place where all I could see is the hopelessness in a handful of pills that in utter despair might end the life that I knew...  Yet, God, had a much better plan for me and my family.  He did end that life that I knew, He allowed it to die with my repentance, left it in the past and he put me in His arms, as well as the arms of a body of believers to walk my new life out with, redirected me, taught me, comforted me, disciplined me and turned my hopelessness into LIFE, real life.  Full of hope and courage, strength, and faith in something bigger than I could have ever asked for.

A reminder to me, of the time that God came after me, "the one" a sheep who had wandered off, and left the ninety-nine.  The time that secured my loyalty to "The One" who held all the answers.  The One that took the time, the One that holds the entire universe in the palm of His hand, who sacrificed, all....who dropped everything, to come after "the one" who was running away.

But...I also know that when God speaks...it's not just "about me".  

I say that with a huge smile, knowing that God works in amazing and a far larger scale then my little "about me" perspective.

God is just that good...

So, I'm anticipating the seeds that are planted in the congregation when God prompted me to ask the question, "who has ever been the one of ninety-nine that God came after"?  Although many hands went up... as anticipated and prompted...some did not.

Did that mean that they were afraid to raise their hand, they weren't paying attention, they didn't want to participate in the question...or they never experienced being "the one" yet?  Was that possible....that someone out there was waiting for God to recklessly come after them, knowing they needed to know that God would drop everything to chase them down.  So I prompted..."if you've not experienced being the one out of the ninety-nine, I hope you experience that opportunity soon.

And soon it was...and how soon I was able to witness God answer.

It was my rotation to teach the 10-14 year old's and I was excited for the opportunity to speak into their lives.  I love to encourage people, I love to give hope and I love when people understand that their lives make a difference!  Especially children.  Too many times, we adults shove kids to the side, we make them feel like they are just dumb kids and that we as wise adults have all the answers.  They will simply have to wait their turn...until they mature and experience more of life to be teachers....but I don't agree with that statement...I look for God to speak in all lives, I ask for wise counsel, input, I love participation, I rarely love to teach...although I love to study.  

So together we studied, 2 Peter Chapter 2, verses 1-15.  After we read scripture, in my studies, I asked each wise counsel, what God spoke to them about, or what stood out to them or what part jumped off the page to them....each wise counsel, ranging from ages 10-15 each shared their God Moment with me...and one wise member said, 4 words spoke to me, "even after I'm gone"....

I stopped in my tracks...I knew God spoke and I couldn't wait to find out what. I worked at prompting my young man at what those 4 words meant to him... I felt in my spirit I knew what it meant,  but I didn't know for sure.  He wouldn't budge.  So I said to my young man...."God is speaking directly to you...you know that right?  He smiled and his eyes told me for certain that he knew it was for him.  I encouraged him to share with me when God responded to his prayer, what those 4 words meant to him.  He promised he would.

After class, he walked up to me and he said, Angie...I know why those 4 words mattered to  me.  I encouraged him to tell me.  He proceeded to tell me that his grandpa passed away a couple years ago and he really misses him.  I hugged him, and I shared with him, I lost my grandpa a year ago also and that my grandpa was my hero so I understood how much it hurt.  With tears in his eyes, he shook his head "yes".

I reminded him that God dropped everything, to speak with him, to remind him that God understood too...that God wanted him to see specifically that "even after I'm gone" I'll always be with you...

I love that my young man was able to witness God come after him, "the one" out of the ninety-nine.

I'm reminded of Matthew 18;

The Parable of the Wandering Sheep10 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. [11] [a]
12 “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? 13 And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. 14 In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.

I am thankful that I get to witness God's love for others...on a daily basis.  

I wonder, if like me, you've ever filled in potholes in your life with tar and pebbles?

What I mean is this...we all seem to go through life trying to fill in the voids in our empty.  We spend so much time chasing things to fill voids... haven't we?

I mean let's talk reality.... 

When we are lonely, we search for companions, things, or activities to keep us from feeling the feelings of "lonely".

When we feel inadequate, we search for positions, or things that will make us feel like we have some sort of "status".

The list goes on and on, but how many things that we put into our potholes of void are intended to go there?  

I've filled my potholes with tar and pebbles for years, and still as a Christian, I sometimes find myself still doing the same old thing that I used to do before I gave my life to Christ.  The familiarity of knowing how to find needs in tar pits becomes habitual and comforting.  I sneak back to the old tar pits to get a quick fix.  

But tar and pebbles are no fix, you and I both know it.  It's a mess, put into a hole, to satisfy for a "time".

I realized the other day that coming to Christ and being transformed was amazing and a miracle and a very needed first step.  It looked like massive transformation on the outside and people could see it.  I stopped hanging out at unhealthy establishments, I stopped listening to unhealthy music, I dressed different, I spoke different, I became a follower of Christ and I shared Christ with others.... I read the bible and knew scripture.   Great, right?

YES!!!!

BUT... that was just simply the beginning, not the finale product.

After what I perceived as completing the "hard part", and I was walking about my Christian walk, feeling pretty secure with how far I'd come...in true thankfulness, not in a boasting, "look what I am now" sort of way, but confident that I was going to find an eternity in heaven...

I got a look at my heart....and I began to weep.  It wasn't as beautiful as my outward appearance.  

This my friends, is the real journey for me.  I have to deal with things people can't see, I have to put out the very carefully protected items that I stored away inside, where they were carefully hidden, under all my outward attire.  I have to expose them in order for God to heal them.  But these things to me are like "my precious" as was the ring was to Gollum/Sméagol from the Lord of the Rings : The Two Towers.  

I've always feared people's opinions of me, and many times, I've assumed their opinions long before they were given an opportunity to form one.

I'm reminded of God's Scripture in 2 Peter Chapter 1 that tells me:

​5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.

10 Therefore, my brothers and sisters,[a] make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, 11 and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I'm so very thankful that God sheds light on dark places.  Unlike the enemies and the world, He doesn't do it to shame us, or scold us, but to strengthen us, to heal us, to protect us and guide us, as we walk humbly along side others in this journey we call LIFE>

For years I've struggled with not fitting in....

​I come from a broken home.   My mother and father divorced when I was 2.  I've saw my biological father a few handfuls of time.  My mother remarried shortly afterwards only to find her and I in an extremely abusive relationship.  After that, we moved in with my Grandpa for a short while and then out on our own for an even shorter while.  Then my Mother met her 3rd husband, which was obviously a charm, and this man adopted me.

​During this time, I've been to 4 schools in my 12 years and lived in 5 different towns.  Now, I'm quite certain many people have done the same or worse, but it created an atmosphere for me in which I didn't know where I fit, or where I belonged.  I could blend, or stand out, but I didn't feel I ever fit anywhere.  I could count on friendships for a short time, only to know they'd be over in a season. 

​I remember the first time I walked into our church family.  It was that of a family and friendships that I'd wanted for years.  The closeness there was unlike anything I had ever experienced.  Yet walking in there, meant closing yet another door to my friendships I had prior to giving my life to Christ.  Which again, placed me in another environment I had to try to adapt to.  But by this time, I learned to be quite the chameleon, blending in to any environment I entered into, at least on the outside, but on the inside, I was still very lonely and very lost.  I'd tell others, "I just don't feel like I fit".   They couldn't understand.

​You see I had changed to please so many environments that I was apart of, I lost sight of me.

​That's when it's time to dig in and find your true identity.  For me, it was a period of stepping out of everything I knew to stand alone in a very dark place.  I continue to remind people that this is NOT the type of thing to do when you are wounded.  But during this time, I was grounded in Christ, and I was in search of finding Him, personally, without any sort of environment around me.  I needed to determine who God was in my life and how to depend on Him for my needs, instead of searching for love through people and things.

​I still search for love from people...that may never change, but that method usually ends in broken hearts for me, so instead, I do the one thing I can do and I try to imitate the love of Christ, and unfortunately many times that falls through.

​Yet, one thing is certain, the love of God never fails. 

No matter what happens in my outward environment, my inner environment is being healed daily.  I'm no longer a Chameleon searching to fit in, but instead a child of God.  I'm not adopted, I'm not in a step family,  or fearing a separation from biological family.  I'm not having to move towns to find it, or new friends.  It's simply there, all the time.  I'm a part of a family on a much greater level.

​In all honesty, I'm alone still much of the time,  but I'm rarely lonely.

​I'm reminded of the truth in scripture that tells me:

Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household,
Ephesians 2:19 NIV

I love that our journey to fit in somewhere, CAN land on secure ground, no matter what the road traveled looks like to get there.

Do you ever get tired of turning on the TV, or listening to news, or fighting with others about what the right religion, right political party, right race, creed or color is? 

I do.

​I can barely stand scrolling through news media feeds and reading the hundreds and hundreds of comments validating someone's belief about who the best is.... To me, it's not only debilitating, but wrong.  And I'm not the only one who thinks so.

​Why do we spend so much time determining who is right among people?  Sometimes it is certain agenda's such as whether we believe killing a fetus is taking a life.  People are very passionate about this topic, as well as many others. and we fight for the outcome we believe is best suited for our children and our upcoming generations. 

​When we find hot topics, such as this...we need to be certain that we don't fuel the fire of our own agendas.  We are not to lean on our own understanding, but are to search the scriptures and seek out God's direction on the matter.   Instead, however, we have a belief system that we know what is best for our towns and communities.

​It's also my understanding that this type of conflict will never cease until we each make a decision to follow Christ, or where we want to spend eternity.  Even then, it becomes a daily sacrifice to make God choices.   It has been this way since day one, throughout Noah, throughout Sodom and Gomorrah, throughout the history of the Bible, you will continually see a race, creed, religion, or gender fight for their own agendas.  Satan knows as well as our flesh, that a house divided against itself can not stand.    But Standing on God's Promises will always prevail. 

​I'm reminded of the scripture
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Galatians 3:28 NIV

​If we could remember this scripture, we'd solve half of the worlds issues...

If you were to ask me if I spend a lot of money on clothes or jewelry, my answer would be no. I stopped shopping for myself years and years ago. All the money we had went to our boys and honestly after an affair had struck our marriage in 2005, I honestly have not felt interested in myself or what I wore. Now, don't get me wrong, I try to dress nice, with thrift shop clothes and I wear makeup sometimes, and of course jewelry I made or had years ago, but nothing you would call "high maintenance" in any way shape or form.

​Recently however, I've lost a couple pounds, and got a new career that I absolutely love. At my new career all the women are dressed so professionally and beautiful with jewelry to match their clothes and perfect shoes with each outfit. There hair is always done beautifully and I can't help but say I admire them. So, I ventured out to a cheap online clothing store and I bought some really cute tops.

​I wore one of these cute tops to church the other day. It was really cute. But, it was also a little big. As a common custom, one of us lucky members gets to take care of the worship leaders children during worship, and it's always a pleasure. It was my turn this day. This particular child is the snuggliest children ever. After worship I also get the privilege to provide the announcement for the week. This particular time, as I was giving announcements, I noted one of the amazing ladies of the church gesture that my shirt had fallen off my shoulder and had exposed my bra strap. Realizing that holding the baby stretched my cute shirt a bit as well as loosing weight made it hand lower. I fixed it and went on about the announcements.

​After church we had our first baptism ceremony at the church. Normally we hold them at the lake, it was an amazing and overwhelming day, which I'll share more in another blog later.

​After baptism, we had a potluck, and I was able to sit down with an amazing couple and share testimony. At the end of the conversation the lady I was visiting with leaned into me and said, "I often want to go up to people who dress inappropriately in church and ask them why they dress like that, do they not know that how they dress can cause another to sin"? Now, I'm not certain if she was directing that comment to me, or if it was part of her testimony, but it struck my heart and I took it personally. My throat got hot and the tears welled up, but I held it back and asked to be excused.

​I left church that day and cried for about 4 or 5 hours or so. I went through all sorts of emotions as to why I was no longer fit to give the announcements in church, and let me tell you the list was more than a mile long. I typed out the "I'm not doing announcements anymore" to the church leaders, but then the phone rang (one of the church leaders) except I was crying so hard I couldn't answer. I deleted the text. My husband couldn't understand why I was upset and neither could my Mom who gave me a big hug and said "Ang, everyone knows your heart".

​Yet, I couldn't help remember the person I was before I came to Christ... it had been a long time since someone had called me "the names of the past". This new friend I made didn't know me from the next person, she only knew me by what she saw that day, and that day I may have given her an impression of who I used to be. Or maybe she didn't mean me at all, but God was pointing something out.

I didn't like it.

​I gathered my thoughts together and I thanked God for the scripture he reminded me of through this time. God is a God of correction, like it or not. I like it, even though it doesn't feel very good at the time, because when corrected by God, I know that there is no condemnation, other than that I bring upon myself. When God corrects you, it is to edify you and to build you up and place your feet on solid ground.

1 Peter 3 New International Version (NIV)3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

​Thank you again God, for touching my heart and helping women to see that they are more than the clothes they wear....

Perfect Peace.... is that possible? 

​Let's say, You go throughout your day and the alarm clock didn't go off, you have 15 minutes to get ready for work.  It's a big day because the boss is going to be there and you are up for a possible promotion.

​You remember just before you head out the door, that school pictures are today.  The kids haven't gotten hair cuts, you didn't help them pick their clothes out and you didn't write out a check.

​Your mind is tied up for several weeks now with thoughts of cancer, because you found a lump and you are awaiting an appointment with the doctor.

​On top of that your spouse has been late several nights in a row and he is acting strangely for the past couple months.

​The reason you are trying for the promotion is that your on your final notice of not paying the mortgage and if you don't come up with 3K somewhere, the bank is going to foreclose.

​Perfect Peace Ang...you're going to try to use Christianity to explain perfect peace in this mess, or more?  My answer is yes.

​The Answer, is always Jesus.

​I'm reminded of several passages in scripture about peace.  Mainly because I think our entire worlds are, have been, or can be similar to the synopsis above.  So many things in life that rob of us peace, because we've invested time and energy, our hearts and our lives into them.  They are important to us and rightly so, we want to protect them.

​I've lived outside of peace for several years.  Full of anxiety, fear of the future, fear of what was to come, afraid in some cases, I'd never get back to where I was before the anxiety and depression hit.  But I did, and in many cases better than I was.  I have family members that have lived outside of peace for many many years, consumed with fears of sickness, death, dying.   Fear paralyzes it's target and keeps their focus on it.

​This morning, I read:
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 26:3 NIV

​Yes, I remind myself, in all situations... the answer is Jesus. 

We shall do our part, such as show up for the interview, we shall call the school and let them know we forgot the check for pictures, we shall pray over our health and families, and go to the Dr.'s appointment in faith, we shall ask our spouses if something is wrong and we shall be good stewards of our money and seek financial classes, call the bank for extra time.  We shall do our part, but we do these things first by seeking the kingdom ways and answers and then by taking action.  When things go wrong, even after seeking the kingdom as they often will, we look to Christ in faith that He has already prepared a way.  Many times, it doesn't look like you want it too... Walk through it anyway, trusting in Christ, with your eyes set like flint on Christ.

​Oh what a journey it will be!

​**** Share with me your testimonies of times where you were full of anxiety and you chose to turn your focus to Christ******