I was thinking after a hard day for me yesterday, why some of us can let issues go, while others take a very intense emotional roller coaster ride. Why some of us Christians are called a hypocrite, while others are called angels. While some Christians have dirty faces like me, and some shine bright. Some Christians are accepted and loved, others are scoffed at. I recalled a conversation that I had with another member of the church. I shared about the pain of mental abuses, physical abuses, sexual abuses. I shared about alcoholic and illegal and prescribed drug addicted lifestyles, I shared what it felt like to grow up with 3 Dads. What it was like to go through a broken marriage, broken friendships, instability and all the scars that come with those lifestyles. After I dumped all that garbage all over the floor, she looked at it and said, I don't know what it's like to be in that...my family was very loving growing up, but I do understand your hurt, and even through I don't understand, Jesus does.
So the age old answer then is...than if Jesus loves his children, why didn't he stop it? Did he love her more?
I listen to people say God instantly healed them...while in some cases, I have received the same miracles, and yet there are some scars inside of me that seem to be cut open at the onset of a similar situation and I begin bleeding uncontrollably...like the woman with the issue of blood for 12 yrs.
I listen to people say what an emotional drain it is to work with people like this, because it's like "these people" don't want to get it. Or they "refuse to receive it". They just feel more comfortable in the drama, it's like a security blanket for them. I get instantly angry, because I guarantee that these scars are anything but comforting. After awhile you just withdraw because you are so tired of sharing garbage with people and being such an emotional burden that it's better to be alone. And people will let you stay that way, because to a person that doesn't have those colored glasses, you will see them as a bi-polar mess. But it's hard to walk alone and sometimes scars stay for years. I bet that is why that guy laid at the pool of Bethesda for 38 years. People got tired of listening to him whine about no one helping him in the pool, and when he tried to drag himself in, someone always beat him.
I had a nice visit with a couple friends going through these types of similar feelings the last couple weeks. No one had really stopped to check on these people. I get that. Both had gone through some EXTREMELY PAINFUL situations. They are both trying to get through the only means they know how. Sometimes during these times, it's best to check on them often. God spoke to me for both, I believe, although, it's hard to tell some days...and asked me to provide them a message. Both basically consisting of Christ not always being in a "perfect church setting" where people have been brought up in Christian homes, their financial needs were nearly always there, they didn't have to struggle with scars of mental abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, alcohol, drugs and broken homes... but instead, God is in that fiery furnace, standing beside you. It doesn't feel good, and it sucks, but, keep a hold of Jesus no matter what you do.
You can call me a hypocrite Christian, or dramatic bi-polar, you can stay away if you wish because it's too much for you to handle. Most days it is for me too. Most times you don't have to stay away, people like this will push you away, because frankly they don't want to handle one more rejection or perfect person to call them crazy. But one thing I know, is that Jesus healed the woman with the issue of blood after 12 yrs, he healed the man at Bethesda after 38. People aren't the answer anyway...Jesus is.
So next time you hear someone say that we shouldn't talk about Jesus, or that we are just a hypocrite...just smile and wear it like a badge, because you know that with Jesus, you have overcome things that most people can't. There are people everywhere sitting lonely in their homes contemplating their own lives, because they don't want to share their twisted garbage with anyone. They don't want to be truthful and appear weak and insane to others. They want to look strong and successful. If someone could just stop to tell them, they are ok...and that the answer is Jesus. If someone knew what they were "feeling" it would be easier to speak into their lives because you've gone through it yourself. You can go to someone who has the right scriptures but never has experienced it and it will work, because God's word will never go out void. Or, you can find some hypocrite Christian that has lived it, gone through it, and Jesus healed them...either way...
Jesus is the answer and you are not an emotional drain, because HE has en endless supply of life giving water.