Except now I found myself hurt, bitter and wounded, many times acting like a victim instead of a victor. I was angry at injustice, and upset that people were not accountable for their actions. I was ruining new relationships because I had no trust, no confidence and anticipation that new relationships would turn out like past relationships. Bottom line was, I was angry that I could not control others, I could not make them love me, or God, and I could not make things work out the way I felt they should, hence making me a failure.
I could have many excuses as to why I should let go, such as hateful words, rumors, hurtful actions, rejection, lies...the list goes on and one, but I held on. I continued to let things I should have learned to let go, form my identity.
I learned how to "let go". It became easy and common. It was a great protection for my heart and my identity. In my own home, I had no drama, I felt good about myself, and I was able to focus on what God said, instead of what people said. Except, I can't be a hermit forever. God for some reason make me crave people.
So I began to ask God to show me how to "cast my cares".
Psalm 55:22 New International Version (NIV)
22 Cast your cares on the Lord
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken.
Things began to change. I didn't have to "let go", I could instead "cast my cares". It's entirely different. Letting go, shuts people out. "Casting Cares", keeps connection without loosing identity. There are times, you have to disconnect, perhaps for a time, or perhaps until God... But casting cares, allows for re-connection when God does. Casting cares also does not allow bitterness to set in, or unforgiveness. Casting cares, allows you to give a situation to God and trust him to work it out, or get rid of it. And yes, there are lots of things in life we need to get rid of...so it's ok. If God wants it to come back in your life at a later time, he will...so don't worry about that either.
1 Peter 5: (NIV) 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
I encourage you to consider working on this. Regardless of what your cares are, financial, relationship, health, sickness, weight, employment, spiritual or any other, learn the art of casting your cares, instead of letting go.
Bible Reference 1 Peter 5 ; Psalms 55