Everyone should have those couple people in our lives that we can just vent to, share absolutely everything, emotions, feelings, and issues without fear of what they are going to say once you hang up the phone, or walk away, or if they are going to stop being your friend.
For me, it's a little different. I'm pouring out my heart, my soul and my daily struggles to not only friends that know me, but also a group of people that don't. I only see what my heart feels, and I don't always stop to see what picture it's painting in your eyes. At some point when you don't get feedback from others, it's easy to feel like you are the only one going through it. Like your life is really messed up, that you can't seem to handle even day to day things.
Yesterday, in an amazing vent session, the words "Ang you are ordinary" came up. You would have to know my mind to know what went on here, but maybe like yours, I internalized this in a negative way. It wasn't intended that way and it wasn't spoken that way. It actually reflected truth, but as I told you before Satan has a way of twisting things in our heads. So after reflecting on how ordinary I was, all of a sudden my passion to write started to fade. If I'm just ordinary then no one really needs to hear what I have to say, I'm just wasting my breath. I'm simply an annoyance to these people that I share my heart with.
THAT'S WHAT I SAID WHEN I FOCUSED ON ME AND WHAT I COULD DO.
This morning I got up and I actually said, "God, can you please share with me...again....what my purpose is. How can I possibly touch anyone, just being me?"
I jump on Facebook as I often do, to see how everyone is and I have a message.
"You are a kingdom shaker. A voice in the darkness. The world is longing to drink from the fountain that flows in your thoughts and writings."
God never misses a beat does He. He always knows our thoughts and He always has the answer.
Let me have a heart to heart with you. I am ordinary...just a girl...looking to seek out God's will. Today that all means something completely different to me. God is amazing, He can use a simple little someone like me, with my roller coaster emotions, my simple ordinary life, my daily interactions with people and the lessons He's taught me, and turn them into something beautiful. God does that...He uses ordinary people to do HIS EXTRAORDINARY things.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.