My earthly hero and mentor, my Grandpa Rusty, passed from here to eternity this year and I often find myself thinking on all he has invested in my life.  Today for some reason, I find myself in past thoughts of walking him down the hall of the nursing home, pushing him in the wheelchair with his mind suffering from dementia or Alzheimer disease and he crying because, as he said to me, "I used to led men in the military in Korea, and now I can't even find myself around a building".

How devastating it is to have lost memories of most all that is familiar to you.  

My Grandpa worked extremely hard.  He suffered much, but never complained.  His attitude was always positive and his instructions always headed some sort of warning about not to worry about molehills.  He had impacted many people throughout his years and edified them all in every way possible.  Even those that would steal from him, he would say, they lived a hard life.

During the last days of his life, when his mind was no longer alert and his body no longer able to function without help, I spent the night with him in the hospital while he suffered from many different ailments that were threatening to shut his body down.  He pulled out of the illnesses for awhile, but only for a few more days before his body grew tired and he gave up his earthly body for a glorfied body in Christ.  But what happened during that night stayed with me.  When he was near ready to go home to be with Jesus...he knew exactly where home was.  It was not in a house or dwelling here on earth, it was the home Jesus had prepared for him.  Of all the things he couldn't remember, or could no longer do, he didn't forget his home in eternity.  He called out for God to take him home.  No disease or sickness could ever make him forget that.

When I am striving in life to do my very best...I  wonder, who I am striving for?  It makes me think of the book of Ecclesiastes.
​
Everything Is Meaningless
1 The words of the Teacher,[a] son of David, king in Jerusalem:
2 “Meaningless! Meaningless!”
    says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless!
    Everything is meaningless.”
3 What do people gain from all their labors
    at which they toil under the sun?
4 Generations come and generations go,
    but the earth remains forever.
5 The sun rises and the sun sets,
    and hurries back to where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south
    and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,
    ever returning on its course.
7 All streams flow into the sea,
    yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,
    there they return again.
8 All things are wearisome,
    more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,
    nor the ear its fill of hearing.
9 What has been will be again,
    what has been done will be done again;
    there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which one can say,
    “Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;
    it was here before our time.
11 No one remembers the former generations,
    and even those yet to come
will not be remembered
    by those who follow them.
Ecclesiastes 1 New International Version (NIV)

If you read the "about me" section of my website, you will find that I'm a Sanguine/Melancholic Personality.  The Sanguine personality is the thing that fires me forward, makes me see life full of excitement, and joy and fun!  The down side to this personality is that when it becomes "not exciting" I have a tendency to bail.  I tend to move on to the next fun and exciting new thing.  I am a fire starter.  It's a great trait with a not so great ending...my fuse is short as far as perseverance.  It's just who I am...

Or is it?

God doesn't always touch on the things in my life that are awe inspiring, He also addresses the things that I've convinced myself that I was just "born this way" and refuse to change.  We all have them.  Those traits that we like to excuse as being human, or just who we are, or even products of our upbringing. 

But just because we were born that way, does not mean that we should stay that way.

With me...today...God is speaking to me about perseverance.  With a past of allowed and learned rejection and abuse,  I've learned to retreat when things get hard.  I've put that part of my life behind me and vowed to never return.

But that's not God's way.  

I read about Saul, turned Paul, in the Bible.  Do you remember that Saul was the one who persecuted and killed Christians for standing up for their faith in Jesus Christ.  Remember, he guarded the clothes of the men that stoned, to death, Stephen, who did not back down preaching the message of Christ?  It cost Stephen his earthly life, but if you recall Stephen was received into God's eternity.  Perhaps we could say this was just who Saul was.  He had a job to do and he did it well.  

But that was not God's way.

Remember Saul was on his way to Damascus when God encountered him.  He was knocked off his horse and Jesus asked his hardened heart, why he was persecuting Him.  It melted his hardened heart and in that moment his perspective changed.  He became a new creation.  He became Paul.

This is what the Trinity and God's Word does in our hardened hearts also.  We may believe that we are born Saul's.  When in reality, we are developing into Paul's.  

Now, God does this several times in our lives.  Sometimes this conversion doesn't look like such a total transformation as it did with Paul.  Sometimes it does.  But God is always teaching and we are always learning.

Today God is showing me the need for perseverance.  Just because I was born or learned how to retreat, does not mean this is how I should remain.  Can you imagine what would have happened if Paul would have retreated instead of persevered?  Considering he mentored us with lessons in 2/3 of the New Testament, it would have been fairly short if he would have gotten scared and gave up when God explained that he would have to "suffer" for the name of Christ.  Because Paul, time and time again, was beaten and persecuted for the name of Christ.  

But he persevered.

I think of our all of our people throughout history that were detained, beaten, forced to be slaves or abide by the control of a vicious dictator.  I think about our war hero's who were prisoners of war, those that were in concentration camps, those that are being killed today or persecuted today for sharing Jesus.  Some of these amazing people have written books that we can read to share their experience of those horrific times in their lives and we hang on every word.  

Why?

To see them persevere.

God wants you to persevere in what He has called you to do according to His purpose.

Peace and Hope
​5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b]boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
9 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! 10 For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11 Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
Romans 5 New International Version (NIV)

I'm a life coach.  Not by degree, but by nature.  What the degree professionals call a "coffee cup counselor".  I've looked down on myself because of this, but I'm beginning to learn that this is where I am, and is truly where I need to be.  I am not schooled by human minds that many times debate the word of God to illustrate a human theory.  I train under Christ as He leads me.  Sometimes I listen and learn, sometimes, I don't.  We are all equipped with the gifting to be students of Christ and be led by the Spirit.  There is absolutely no degree needed for that.  When we learn from Him, we are then equipped to give testimony and share in our experiences of Him.  Some of us do, some of us don't.  I truly recognize that without Him in my life, my words are without life.  I would love to say that every word is full of Him, but truly, every word is simply my experience of learning through Him.  When you give your life to Christ, you don't automatically become Super Christian, you become super humble.  We read and we learn as we continue to study under Christ, to become more like Him in nature.  God reveals bits and pieces of life as we can handle it.

Last night a very dear friend text me.  She was very devastated and questioning God.  You see, she was battling a cancer diagnose of a very close relative who was given 3-6 months to live by their Dr's.  On top of that she has also experienced loosing two young close friends that left behind hurt and confused children, all in less than a year.  She shared with me she was loosing her faith.  To that, we reach out to God and we pray that He would reveal HIS truth to her and block any snares or traps or lies set by our enemy.

This morning during my Bible read, I came across a passage that I pondered.  It was the part when Jesus was born that Herod had asked where the Christ was to be found.  You see Herod, like many people today, wanted to kill Jesus.  However, the wise men being led by a vision of God were instructed not to tell him, and Joseph, (Christ's earthly guardian) was instructed to take Jesus and flee to Egypt.  Upon all this, Herod, filled with fear and anger, killed all the babies 2 years and younger, not only in Bethlehem, but in all the surrounding coasts.

Let's stop there.

What would that do to your faith?  Many of us ask the question, "why would God not have stopped it?"  Once we get to that point, we start to blame God.  If God is so loving, why would He allow this?  I know, because I've asked that question, my family has asked that question and being a life coach, I've heard this question more times than I can count.  

Although, I don't know how to quite answer that question yet, I do know one thing.  God did not kill those babies.  Herod did.  Herod was not living for God.  What I do believe is that those babies are with God.  Yet, we allow things like this to steer us from God and shake our faith.  I understand.  I've been shaken, but luckily, my new foundation has been built on Christ and although the winds and the waves used to destroy my foundation built on sand (my own knowledge) 12 yrs ago I began to build my new foundation on the rock (Jesus) and since then waves and winds (struggles and trials) have come, but my foundation remains strong.  (Faith in Christ)

What I also know is eternity is our goal and our destination.  It is just a matter of time and how much "time" we do not know.  So with that being said, what truly should spur us on is not what worldly death looks like, but that our spirit is connected to His spirit so that we enter into eternity with Christ.  If our spirit is not connected with His Spirit, we will enter into an eternity of pain and sorrow so intense it will make us gnash our teeth.  Therefore, keep your eyes set like flint for the prize which will come in the blink of an eye....Eternity with Christ.

The Parable of the Ten Virgins
25 “At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish and five were wise. 3 The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. 4 The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. 5 The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.
6 “At midnight the cry rang out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’
7 “Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. 8 The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.’
9 “‘No,’ they replied, ‘there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’
10 “But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut.
11 “Later the others also came. ‘Lord, Lord,’ they said, ‘open the door for us!’
12 “But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I don’t know you.’
13 “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.
Matthew 25 New International Version (NIV)
​

"Does God talk to you"? I asked my husband this morning.  "No" was his response, "Does He talk to you"? he asked.  "All the time" I said, I know I had a puzzled look on my face.  "Don't you think God talks to everyone", I questioned.  "Yes" was his immediate response and then his brain must have scanned his own answer and doubt set in, "well maybe not, I don't know."

Later on I found myself singing, first in my spirit and then out of my mouth...You're a good good Father, it's who You are, it's who You are, it's who You are, and I'm loved by You, it's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am.... 

​I found myself thinking on that topic.  (this is the moment I feel like God starts speaking to me). I find myself in my spirit having an internal conversation with His Spirit. Perhaps it's my own melancholic/sanguine personalities, but I truly believe it's God.  It is not audible (although I do believe I had an audible conversation at the darkest moment of my life with God, so I don't believe it's impossible) but it starts with a sort of lesson for my life.  God always seems to find those things that are deep and hidden in my heart that I've tried to deal with on my own, that frankly, we don't do a very good job at.

Do I view God as a good good Father?  If not, why and why if God is good do we have to have so many people in the ministry remind us that He loves us and that we are loved by Him? Well the answer to that, lies in my tainted experience of the world... and I am going to try to be as respectful as possible in my brief description of my experience with good good fathers.  
When I was 2 years of age, my mother and biological father divorced.  Like many divorces it was filled with bitterness, hurt, control and anger.  That relationship led to an absentee biological father through the remainder of my life.  It was pure rejection and utter hurt for a little girl that never understood why her father was not there or supporting her in anyway. Now mind you, I took into consideration that bitter divorce, but to reject your own child for any reason, never sat well with me.  I did question it directly and was told by my father, that I was the one who abandoned him.  Sometimes, dysfunction will lay blame on anyone it can, and for a child who already feels rejection, she may eat that up and swallow that causing further regret.  I was even told in a round about way that if I didn't learn to forgive as the Bible instructs, I would not enter heaven.  Sometimes dysfunction, also likes to twist truth.

My mother remarried, almost immediately after that divorce and it didn't get any better as far as fathers go.  My entire memory other than a few random safe ones were of fear, like Stephen King type fear.  There was very traumatic abuse happening in this relationship.  I found out many years later that this man may have been traumatically abused himself and may have suffered PTSD from the Vietnam war.  I never knew those things, so to me, as a child between the ages of 2-9, a very influential time in a young child's life was out of control,  control and anger and things I should have never had to witness or be involved in.

My mom escaped that lifestyle to remarry a man my Grandpa Rusty picked out.  Grandpa Rusty will always be my mentor in life and he did a good job picking out not only a good husband for my mother, but also a stand-in father for me.  This man did everything with me and for me.  He took time to go to the movies, play catch, arcade, shopping and getting me involved in working on old car engines,  shooting guns, teaching me things a father should.  As time would evolve, this man did adopt me, and I became his daughter.  Later, my Mom and Dad would have their own children, two amazing brothers for me, but whether I felt rejection and walked away as the red-headed step child, or whether it just isn't completely possible to love adopted children as much as blood, I don't know, but hurt set in.

So...is this how I viewed God?  Perhaps, I took all these worldly experiences and learned that God rejects us, or beats us when we are naughty or when we don't meet His expectations, or casts us out to love his biological children more...I don't know, but my hunch says it is.  My heart begins to cry when I let God touch these pains buried deep inside and then it makes it's way to my throat and then out my eyes...like flood gates.

Now what I do know is that this tainted perception is not who God is.  So for those of us that perhaps do see God through the experiences of our past,  what is truth?

Let's go to the beginning.  When God created a home in a garden for his beloved Adam and Eve.  He walked with them, talked with them, engaged with them, and even instructed them.  He gave them freedom to walk and do as they pleased, with the instruction that they should never eat of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil.  It wasn't that God was being mean, but in order for us to be free, we have to have a choice.   Adam and Eve chose disobedience.  Because of their choice and because God is sovereign and absolutely can not lie or sway from His instruction, their choice provide the consequence that God in His sovereignty could not avoid, life of separation from Him.  Not that God wanted the punishment, He fully instructed that they were not to eat of the tree, but because they had the free will to make the choice to do so, God could not change the consequence.  BUT...God did provide a way for his children to be returned to Him.  God is able to take a bad situation and bad choices and reroute the vast existence of the universe and all that's in it, to point us back to Him.  He did that through Jesus.  He took His own Son and shaped all eternity through Him to reroute our bad choices back to God if we so choose.  

So, my friend, the next time you take a look at your past, your hurts, your pain, your bitterness and you view of God through those lenses, remember that God loves you so much, he rerouted eternity to be connected to you, even through our bad choices and gave us the Holy Spirit, His spirit, to live in us, if we should choose.  Don't allow the experiences of the world to taint the Truth of God.
​
Thank you Jesus.
​
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10 NIV
​

Lately, the Holy Spirit is dealing with me on "throwing stones".  We read about it in the Bible, but we often forget to apply that to the day we live in.  Not too many people throw stones at people in the public courtyards anymore physically, but some still do.  

Let's take a look at some ways we throw stones today.  

Have you ever had a discussion about someone behind closed doors with another party/parties with the intention to prove your point, to make them look bad because they hurt your feelings or did something you didn't like?  Did you rally up as many of your friends, relatives and forces to come against that person with the intention of proving your point and disproving theirs? Now I fully understand that if it does affect you, personally, it is important to find ONE person who will help you be accountable to handling the situation through scripture, and point you to Christ to get that need out into the light and trust God with the answers and the resolve. But what spirit did you present it in? Did you call it "venting"...just something you needed to get off your chest before you did or said something you might regret? - Yes, I've used this same exact excuse...so I know the danger of pretending this is why we do it.  Call it what it is, you are throwing stones at them.

Do you watch the news lately, or politics and find yourself picking sides between Republicans and Democrats, Fox News and CNN?  Do you find yourself in conversations about political matters, news matters and rallying up forces to side on those of your opinions and beliefs? Did you narrow your view of a person because of their current belief system and group everyone in that party or news room under one tent?  Did you use the excuse that you watch all this stuff to "stay up with the world and what's going on?"  How much time do you invest staying up with the WORD and what's going on there, and then using that knowledge to address anything that presents itself before you?  Do you really need to stay up with all that stone throwing, or would it be best to be a slave of Christ?  Those that fight by the sword, die by the sword.  That means that however you choose to live will be the same thing that controls your life.

Do you find yourself going on social media to "see what everyone is doing"?  Do you find yourself enjoying posting your opinion on hot topics, or if your not bold enough to put your name to it, do you show others in your circle the post and then start a discussion about it? Did you ever unfriend someone because you didn't like what they posted?  Did you have a disagreement over a social media post?  Did you cast that person out of your circle?   Do you find yourself casting an opinion about someone without talking to them personally because of what someone else said or did on social media?  I'm just wondering, is that casting stones?

One last thing, did you ever say to yourself or someone else.  "They are nothing but drama"?  "I don't have time for that or for them"?  My question is... did you find enough time before you cast them out to find out what is causing their drama, their bitterness, their negative ways and did you share God's truth of hope, of healing and of love with them?  My friends, there is so much more than giving money, and going to church on Sundays to work in God's fields.  There is hard work to do, that no one else is willing to do and many times this work will involve getting involved to share truth where it is unwelcomed, unwanted and uncomfortable.  This work will not earn your salvation, but it may be the thing that will help others find their own and break free from the bondage that enslaves their lives. 

If you've read this and find yourself with a little resentment or disagreement or even offense after doing so, I understand, I've spent years feeling worthless at some of the things people said to me.  Re read it, and read it asking yourself, does living like this, any of this, please God?  We are not like those that believe that killing others pleases God...we believe that restoring them to Him, pleases Him.  What does God say?

John 8:7 New International Version (NIV)
When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”
​

While I work, I tend to listen to loud worship on YouTube by Jesus Culture, Bethel Worship, Hillsong, etc., or sermons either by TBN or Praise FM, but I've intentially made a decision to flood my ears with others who share a passion for Christ.  There is no doubt that I've been called to be an evangelist or a student of Christ and to attempt, to my best gifting, share the message of the good news and sometimes the warnings of the Gospel of Christ.  Even by my not so supportive or not so loving Uncle I've developed the name EvAngelica - which I'll go ahead and take.

As I surround myself with high profile Christians, I can't help to feel small and unimportant. Reaching virtually 1-5 people a year for Christ. (yes counting might be my first mistake)  I make it my heart to teach my boys and be a helper to my husband, and I many times feel like an utter failure at even that.  Funny, isn't it, what we will consider about ourselves when we don't have high profile positions.

But tell me...how many people have high profile verses ordinary or even under average lives like me?  My guess is that the world is filled by amazing low profile, riding under every radar, heart full of passion for a God that saved them, people - than the handful of high profiles that get their spot on TV.  

First let me give God the Glory for moving these high profile Christians on their platforms. God bless them and speak to them to share Your word and touch millions for You.  Give them gifting, encourage and spur them on and fill their lives with Your annointing.  Continue to be with them and their families and allow their generations to continue for years and years, sharing Your Word and Your Truth.

Next, let me give God Glory for all the Pastors running all our churches around the world. Give them strength and gifting to continue to stand in the gap for those that have not yet come to YOU.  Give them resources and open doors to touch all Your children, to share truth, to close the gap on worldly division and unite us with Your oneness and word!

Finally, let me give the Glory to God for all the millions of us Lord, that do not have high profile positions and yet have a heart of passion to continue to share Your word, Your heart and Your plan with others like us that have lost hope, lost heart and lost passion.  God let us understand that platforms have no merit on your calling and that favor is often given to the ones that are alone and forgotten like David who was tending sheep when the Kings servants came calling, completely forgotten by his family...God reminded them to ask for the one, they had all forgotten...

Remember, God sees you... He is drawing and calling you to be faithful in all the small things, to prepare you for even greater things...“Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.

Eternity.

1 Samuel 16:8-11
8 Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, “The Lord has not chosen this one either.” 9 Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, “Nor has the Lord chosen this one.”10 Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, “The Lord has not chosen these.” 11 So he asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?”
“There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered. “He is tending the sheep.”
Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.”

I remember when I first started blogging, we were trying to figure out how to create a "platform" to reach people.  We created my signature header for my website that I felt best described me and what I do.  One of the tips I received from an amazing friend was... "but don't use the Scripture format.  It bores the reader."

I went by that for awhile, carefully sharing God stories, eliminating scripture from the blog to avoid "boring my readers".  I perhaps had 3 all together and after I shut down Facebook, I only had those I sent my blog to.  Therefore, I couldn't possibly do any damage "boring my readers".

Yet, this advice has continued to stick with me throughout my few years blogging.  And after all this time and my long line of followers I've decided on one thing.

I don't want you to follow me...I want you to follow Jesus.

Therefore, my words are nothing in comparison to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

You see, too many of us, are concerned about temporary things, such as who likes us, who follows us, what our net worth is, how popular we are, how to gain a following.  Those are great to be successful in the world...and if you want to be successful in the world, you need to be prepared to do a lot of things that are not scriptural.  Especially not to share the word in anything you say, because it will bore the reader and perhaps even reduce your followers.  Even if there are none.

But when Jesus taught us about money and possessions in Matthew 6:19-21 he reminded us:

“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be."

No excuses, no yeah buts, just scripture.  My words can not compare to Christ when it comes to the prize.

What prize? you ask....

The Bible shares with us in Luke 9:51-56 (KJV) when being taught about opposition from unbelievers:

And it came to pass, when the time was come that he should be received up, he stedfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem, And sent messengers before his face: and they went, and entered into a village of the Samaritans, to make ready for him. And they did not receive him, because his face was as though he would go to Jerusalem. And when his disciples James and John saw this, they said, Lord, wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did? But he turned, and rebuked them, and said, Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of.  For the Son of man is not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them. And they went to another village.

Eternity in heaven with God is the prize.

In our lives, we will listen to voices.  Many times, more than not, we find that we listen to the wrong voices.  Negative criticism stunts us, only because we consider and believe negative  to be true.  We tend to read the Bible the same way.  We find ourselves being edified by God, instructed to do the good things for our lives, and yet, we turn it around and point at Christians for "judging".  We believe that we will never be able to do what God says, because we listen to the same voice that convinced Eve that God was holding out on her by telling her not to eat of the fruit of knowledge.  Yet, after she listened and followed the deceitful voice, she found herself banned from her garden.  Not that God punished her, but that her desire to listen to the negative voices led her to circumstances God intended to protect her from.

Therefore, it is my goal to point to scripture in every blog from here out so that you may learn the good things God has in store for you.

Have an amazing day, remember, open the word, dig in, fill your life full of his goodness, enriched with grace, mercy, discipline and love.

Isaiah 50:7 New Living Translation (NLT)
Because the Sovereign Lord helps me,
    I will not be disgraced.
Therefore, I have set my face like a stone,
    determined to do his will.
    And I know that I will not be put to shame.

When I remember to do so, I pray, "God please fine tune my ears to hear only You".  We spend countless hours trying to figure out how people "hear" God.  I remember listening to a man, who seems to spend his spiritual career discrediting other high spotlight Christian teachers for how they hear/view God.  One of his issues was that he believes we no longer "hear" God, except by reading His Word in the Bible.  He fully discredits anyone who says "God told me."  It was the very moment I shut his sermon off.  I'm no high end, spotlight Bible teacher.  I'm "just Ang", but I know that I know that I've heard God speak to me and because I know this to be true, what this man is trying to discredit holds no merit in my heart.

I had an incredible experience yesterday, a God Moment, I call it.  It's worth sharing, because it shows just how we blow past God and try to allow ourselves to live in control of things.

About 3 months ago. my husband made one of the dumbest purchases in our marriage, (I thought).   Originally a 300$ purchase turned to a $400 last minute purchase, he decided to buy a work suburban for our farm.  First with disgust I made sure it was paid for by a check and that a signed written statement was provided as PROOF we had purchased this vehicle from the (known shady) gentleman that we did.  

Not only was I upset about that, but at the even small price of $400 for a vehicle, we didn't have the money and I had to borrow it from our just turned 18 year old son to keep us from being over-drafted!

Next was the sight when my husband proudly drove in the yard with this $400 vehicle.  "The tires are good" he said and "runs like a champ"!  The statement of "what's that pile of junk doing in our yard" made by both our 18 yr and 15yr old sons sent my husband a little sore to go "stew" while he finished the chores on our hobby farm.

To make matters worse, two months later, the "promised" title assured to us when we purchased was no where to be found.  Next, upon even further investigation the title was not even in the name of the person we purchased it from.  On top of that, there was a lien on this "piece of junk" sitting in our driveway and the County Attorney said, "there was no hope" this (shady) gentlemen was already in several other court cases for doing the same.

UGH!!!!  I wanted to tell my husband just what I thought!!!

But instead, I called up the Courthouse and talked to the very informational lady (who had to have dealt with this before) at the license bureau and found a bit of hope.  I asked if we got a duplicate license and had the original owner sign it, could we then transfer the title?  She shared how we could, and then we'd have to fix the lien at the bank, whose name had now changed and we would need a statement of that as well as the lien release.

So, I called my husband and explained that he just had to go talk to the original owner.  "I can't" was the response.  "why on God's green earth not!" was my reply.  "Because he is upset with me over a city matter" was the answer.  

Oh for goodness sake, can this get any worse!!!

Fine, I'll go get a duplicate title and I'll go myself to explain the situation to the owner and we will go from there and do the right thing.  "Does he still live in town", I asked?  "No" my husband replied, he was hauled by ambulance and is now in the Care Center.

Oh goodness....OK...fine!

So, the date came, I received the duplicate title and I went to the Care Center.  When the nurse guided me to my destination, there sat the man who I needed to visit with, with his pants around his ankles, so feeble, he was unable to retrieve them to present himself dignified.  My heart fell.   A nurse came in and assisted him and smiled and said, "he loves visitors".

I walked in, sat down beside him and introduced myself as Angela Serocki, remember I said, I used to own the bar, BuYah's, in Browns Valley, I said.  He nodded and said, you are Tony's wife.  With a quick remembrance of some city issue between the two of them I proudly said yes.  I shared my situation with him and asked if he would be willing to sign the duplicate title.  He, without hesitation, signed.

But that was not the God Moment.

Next, he said, "do you still go to that church in Sisseton?"  Knowing that some people find my church a little "out there" because we are loud, worship Jesus loudly and yell "Amen" scares some folks, I said yep, sure do.  Then he said, "do you talk in tongues there"?  Crinkling my forehead I said, "well some do, yes".  He nodded.  Then said, "I've often wanted to call you and see if I could go to church with you.  But I always thought that might sound strange to ask.  Now I'd like to go and I have no way to get there."

WHAT!!!  (God, I'm hearing you!!!)

"Listen" I said, "are you going to be staying in this care center, or are you going back to the care center in your hometown? " He replied he would be going to his hometown when he could.  So I told him when he got there, he just needed to call me and I would take him to church with us.  He said he would really like that.  Then I asked him what church he normally attends.  He shared with me he had not been in church for 20 years.  He could not stand that the people would pretend to be one way in the church and then act another when they got out, so he couldn't stand churches...but he wanted to go to mine.

HONESTLY!!!  (God Moment)

God, how amazingly you took a situation that I nearly blew my cool on, (honestly did blow my cool on), a decision my husband made that I thought was nearly one of the stupidest decisions he's made to date, to take a pile of junk to sit in our yard that we'd have to go through all this trouble to get me to a spot where Your child, this man, that I needed a signature from...... needed You.

God I heard you...not only from Your Word in the Bible...but through all my grumbling and confusion and loosing my cool and wanting to tell my husband just what I thought, to seeing You move in only a way You can to meet the needs of Your Children....thank you for sending me and stretching me and teaching me through all my faults to still come to Your answers.

Oh God...fine tune my heart my ears...to hear and see only You in all things, and to learn to give thanks in everything, for that is the WILL of God in Christ Jesus, concerning us....

Amen.