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Wisdom For Inspired Living

Anxiety Weighs Down The Heart

12/9/2019

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I got a call from my boss today.  Congratulations she said!  I sheepishly replied...thanks...for....what?  She laughed as she told me what the reason for her call was.  She shared with me that I had accomplished a good amount of work throughout the year and she wanted to thank me for my hard work.  I hung up the call and I looked up and I thanked God.

You could go back to posts probably around 2012-2015 and find my blogs in some desperate need of encouragement.  I bet reading them for the most part, although amazing lessons learned in them, were pretty pity party filled.  Most of it due to work.  Not that I didn't love my job I did.  Not that I didn't work hard at them, I did.  Not that I didn't take responsibility for my mistakes,  and not that I didn't attempt to go above and beyond in challenging myself to do better, I did.  The difference however, were my coworkers and my bosses.

I make plenty of mistakes at my work, plenty. I bet I have at least 3 error reports daily of things I have to correct. Big things, like major no nos.  We have safeguards set up in most all of our work to guarantee there is always something checking our work constantly. We are human we will make mistakes.  Sometimes I work too fast to get things done, sometimes I multitask and forget steps.  Sometimes distractions lure my focus away and sometimes I just plain don't know how to do something.  Mistakes have always been hard for me.  I'm a people pleaser.  I take the blame for my own mistakes and I take the blame for other peoples mistakes because I feel I could have done something to help them not make their mistake.  I am a glutton for punishment when no one else even knows there's anything wrong.  I made mistakes back then, and I make mistakes now, I handle them the same, but the difference is the one that oversees me, oversees the mistakes, knows I don't want to make them intentionally, corrects me, and then sends me on my way to work hard again, all the while telling me I'm valued.  My bosses today focus on my strengths and put me in positions I can succeed in, and surround me with coworkers who can pick up the pieces I'm not gifted in.
 
Prior bosses were much different.  Mistakes were pointed out, harshly, I was reprimanded, I was reminded over and over again of all my failure as well as my own self beating myself up.  My boss would threaten the security in my job, telling me I should be better, do better and continually giving me tasks that I felt like a failure in.  Sure they'd throw in a few kind words once in awhile, but I guarantee you, I felt unappreciated, unworthy and down right dumb.  I was embarrassed and very discouraged.

I  thought a lot about the character of God and the character I want to reflect.  How it feels to me to be encouraged, corrected, guided, taught, stretched, challenged appreciated and loved...all the while making several mistakes along the way.  On the alternate how it feels when I am condemned, scolded, shamed, humiliated, left to learn on my own, shunned and watched like a hawk awaiting one wrong move to pounce and devour.  

Given I've had both kind of leadership personalities, I'm so grateful for one, while learning to discern the other.  We might not all have the opportunity to work for an incredible team like I do now.  I know, because this is the first time I have, but I do know that wherever we work, we have the opportunity to be lead by an amazing God who is willing to take the time to develop us in His character...even thru bosses that may do everything in their power to let you know that you aren't worthy of their job.  I guarantee if there is every a moment where you feel less than valued by people around you, it's time to open up the word of God and read it.  Study it, soak it in.  It's full of truth's solid truths that will help you succeed in any circumstance.

Proverbs 12:25 New International Version (NIV)25 Anxiety weighs down the heart,
    but a kind word cheers it up.

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