
The atmosphere changed...
"made a wrong turn, once or twice...dug my way out of blood and fire. Bad decisions that's alright, welcome to my silly life...mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood, miss "no way it's all good", it didn't slow me down. Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated, look I'm still around." P!nk sang in my ears.
You're so mean when you talk about yourself, you are wrong, change the voices in your head, make them like you instead. So complicated look how big you'll make it filled with so much hatred, such a tired game. It's enough I've done all I can think of, chased down all my demons, I'll see you do the same. The words made contact and changed my perspective.
"Pretty pretty please don't you ever feel like your less than, less than perfect, pretty pretty please if you ever feel like your nothing, you are perfect to me."....
God sought my heart. It was a "God moment". Despite the religious scare that I was actually listening to secular music... God was reaching out. Despite the "thou should act holy and make sure that nothing impure hits your ears" God was talking...
It's amazing what a "God Moment" can do, in an instant, God can erase things that "time" took years to build. I spent years listening to voices that told me things that were not true. Sometimes I'd listen, sometimes I wouldn't, but after you are told enough...you start to surrender them as truth. You start to not be able to see the difference between the lies and the hate and the truth and the love...they just start to blur together until confusion and doubt settles in.
Once my spirit grabbed hold of truth, one of my best friends instantly flashed in my spirit. I saw the voices that haunted him. You wouldn't believe if you saw us together, the closeness I have with my friend. Polar opposites. Same heart. I saw this perfect little church setting, with happy believers smiling and praising God, and I saw my friend who has a shaved head, tats all over, listens to hate music and loves leather and motorcycles, in the center full of fire.
You might think the fire was for my friend...because of some lifestyle he might be living, you might think that because of the things of his past that's why I might have saw that vision.
Not at all... My friend knows Jesus and Jesus loves him.
What I saw was the scripture of Shadrach Meshach and Abednego in the "fiery furnace" thrown in there by Nebuchadnezzar because they refused to bow down to anyone but Christ. I encourage you to read it. What I saw was that although we might like the looks of the "perfect little church setting" where everyone has the attributes of Jesus, real life doesn't always look like that. What I saw was a fight for our souls by demons that disguise themselves as disappointment, hurt, hate, bitterness, envy, jealousy, loneliness, insecurity, shame and mistakes we can't forgive ourselves for.
What I saw, was that Jesus was there...
Instantly, I texted my friend and I told him what I saw....I knew immediately it was for him. I didn't even pray, I just trusted God, and I told him what I saw. I didn't worry about fancy words, or accuracy of spelling. I didn't worry about my fingers hitting the "i" instead of the "o". I didn't worry about emphasizing certain details, I just delivered the message. I hadn't talked or texted my friend in a long time. I didn't have "Facebook" to snoop in on his life. I had no idea what he had been doing, or how he was feeling. I just sent the message.
"That actually made me cry"... came the return text. That was it, he didn't need to tell me anymore. He didn't have to give me details, he didn't have to tell me any history...
I sat in silence with tears streaming down my face.... "thank you Jesus" thank you for loving us through the fires. I replied, "I cry when God talks to me too." I responded.
I instantly thought of the song Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE. I sent the link to my friend. I asked him to listen. I listened to the lyrics. I smiled. I bet my friend thought I was the "brother". Tears streaming down my face... little did this bald headed, tattooed, biker dude know...that no matter what his past contained, no matter what demons he faces, no matter what the voices tell him...
He has a voice of Jesus... that makes "him" the "Lighthouse".