Suicide is nothing to take lightly. Depression is nothing to take lightly. It's also not something that we should conform to. Don't take on the spirit of depression, it is not your friend. It is not there to comfort you or to make things better, it is there to destroy you. Now, I made it through my depression without medication, however it wasn't easy. I am not a Dr. and I won't be at risk to tell you what do you with depression, but what I know for sure, is you can not allow depression or thoughts of suicide to stay. Those are not spirits that have come to take you home to heaven, they have come to destroy you. I also know that medication alone does not cure depression, it masks it, so somewhere with the help of medication or not you will have to get to the root of the issues and pull them out.
I remember in specific the night that I wanted to "go home and be with God". I was going through, at the time, the worst spot in my marriage. It was about to end, and I wanted to give up on life. With the means to do so in my hand... I audibly heard God's voice say to me. "You won't get to heaven". I argued and pleaded and told God it wasn't fair. Again, God said "you won't get to heaven". The voice was very matter of fact. It was stern but comforting. It made me angry that I couldn't release myself of this issue in my life, I was mad at God for telling me that, but I listened. Instead of ending my life, I chose to walk through. I had not given my life to Christ and I wasn't living for Christ at that time. You can sure bet, however, I gave my life to him after. I'm glad I got a second chance.
Now listen, I'm not throwing out there that people that commit suicide don't go to heaven. I can't see people's hearts and God is the one to make that decision. But I can say is that God saw my heart that day and apparently it wasn't good. This changed how I view suicide. I never say things like "oh all their pain is gone now" or "they are in a better place". Why? Because I would never want to convince someone else that a choice of suicide will get them to heaven, simply because God told me I wouldn't have made it. Now instead I trust God's choices and I pray against the spirit of suicide and of depression. I know that I didn't see a way out back then, but that God made a way for me where there was no way. I know that back then was the darkest hour I've ever felt, but that God restored what the spirit of depression robbed from me 7 fold! I also know that I walked through depression for nearly 3 straight years. Life is pretty blurred during those years, there's things I can't quite recall and times and dates are all scrambled together. Today, however, I am a new creation and I don't carry the spirit of depression or suicide. I don't allow it to cling to me, and I don't cling to it. They are not my friends.
I know it's a heavy conversation for a Monday, but when God talks, I listen. You are loved friends, no matter what you are going through, no matter who is in your life, Christ is always there and you are never alone.