That statement sat with me for a couple days as I sought God for answers, insight, and a message. I understood exactly how he was feeling. I myself had felt God called me to write a book, actually many of them... there is no doubt in my head that God awoke me out of a dead sleep and spoke it over me. But that was 11 years ago, and the one book I did write wasn't a best seller. Most my church family hadn't even purchased a copy. If anyone in my family did get one, it's because I gave it to them. It felt dead on arrival. Did God really say....?
Then I began blogging. I am extremely emotional. I've always loved my emotions. They are what makes a writer passionate. It's what makes a heart bleed with hurts and wounds so deep it seems impossible to heal, yet with one "I'm sorry" bind up that wound in a moment. It's what makes me cry out to God when I feel hopeless, worthless, insecure, unwanted, unloved, rejected...and receive His answers. It's what allows me to be vulnerable and naked in front of a crowd of readers who will ultimately crush my spirit with opinions and negative comments, lack of encouragement or support, and wake up the next morning to write again, to heal their hurts and pains and offer love for their needs. Yet, I hear in every televangelist, Pastor, Preacher and friends... "you can't live by your emotions"... so... did God really say...?
The reason I do what I do is because Jesus saved me. He redeemed me. He took me from a life I was living full of void and darkness, blindness and being lost and he provided me purpose, light, sight and direction. I have determined that I will never ask for money for something I have not worked for. I will not become a non-profit and I will seek to find the treasures in the lessons of each day. Most recently God has encouraged me to do "Sunday Drives" to get out with other believers, expand as Jesus did, praying with others in his body, not just the body of my family church, but with all churches that share the message of Christ's salvation. On top of that, God has encouraged me to crochet with prayer warrior purpose. Arming the cloth with God's word...that never goes out void. Acts 19:12. God reminded me that for these projects I should be like Matthew 10:8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give. Of course, I do crochet and write for profit as well but I won't ask for anything I haven't worked for. I think of 1 Thessalonians 2:9 stating "Don't you remember, dear brothers and sisters, how hard we worked among you? Night and day we toiled to earn a living so that we would not be a burden to any of you as we preached God's Good News to you." Yet, sometimes I question, Did God really say...?
Suddenly God reminds me of Eve in the Garden...and the first lie Satan sewed in her heart...Genesis 3.... "Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say...?
God reminds me of the people of Genesis 6:6-8 that The Lord regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled. So the Lord said, “I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created—and with them the animals, the birds and the creatures that move along the ground—for I regret that I have made them.” But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord. Noah began building the ark...despite the fact no one had ever saw rain in their lives... So did God really say...?
God finalizes my seeking with Job and shows me what sorrow can do. God had allowed Satan to wipe out Job's entire family and homestead...everything he had. How could God have allowed such a terrible thing to come upon Job. God himself said Job was righteous and blameless in His eyes, yet he allowed Satan to destroy everything Job loved and worked for. Job looked to God, but Job's wife was filled with sorrow. His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” In other words did God really say...?
The answer is this. When you hear God speak to you, seek Him, search His word and listen with your heart. Test the Spirit that is speaking to you, verify the validity in His word and truth. Does it match? Once you feel the peace of God come over you, the answer is YES...God really did say... even if no one else helps you, even if no one else believes in you, even if no one else encourages you, even if no one else understands you... if YES, God really did say...than continue pressing in.