I remember thinking that I was so glad that I had found Christ, that I had started to change my life and live for Him. I was so glad that I made decisions to walk away from my old ways and start living as Jesus would want me to. I remember it seeming like it was the most foreign country I had ever been to. I lost most all my friends, I became a "fake Christian" that had "fallen off the deep end."
Then something happened that rocked the foundation I stood on.
I was watching the movie the "Gospel of John". It got towards the end of the movie, or to John Chapter 15 to be exact, and Jesus looked at His friends and said: You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.
You didn’t choose me. I chose you.
I wept like no other. God would choose me? Abandoned, abused, rejected, worthless, drama queen, poor in finances, poor in spirit, not popular, unintelligent, pitiful, confused, messed up, poor choices, little ol' nobody me?
I thought of David. (1 Samuel 16) When they came looking for the anointed one, they came to Jesse's house. Jesse presented to Samuel, in his eyes, his finest son's from 1st to 7th as he would see them being successful. Samuel asked Jesse, "is this all your sons?", and Jesse said "no, there's just David left. But he's really not fit for this...he just tends to sheep." Samuel said "go get him." David was chosen by God, even though no one else saw David as fit or proper or ready for the position.
Don't think for one moment that God is overlooking you because of how you see yourself. You are not forgotten, you are not left behind, you are not looking for God, God is pursuing you, relentlessly, and if you'd stop running for just a moment, you will see, God chose you!
"You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name." ~Jesus (John 15:16)