Stepping forward, as hard as this one was, I'm working on number two. This time instead of focusing on Depression, which God has brought me out of, I'm focusing on FORGIVENESS. I am well aware of the pain that it brings up to have to forgive someone for hurting you. Sometimes Christians talk about how easy it is to forgive. Nonsense, it's one of the hardest things I've had to do. Matter of fact, I only seem to be good at forgiveness when both parties are seeking it. It's much harder for me when the party that has hurt me, is not seeking restoration, but just left me for dead. It's not easy.
I am famous for retreating when I get hurt, it's my wounded dog reaction. Truth be told, I much rather communicate behind these computer walls. I can carefully choose my words to build you up, to share a story without messing up and if you hate it or me, I can't see it. My heart is to encourage, but sometimes I get in the way. I love writing, it comes out in truth, without defense. I love talking to you everyday, even if I don't hear back.
The last couple weeks, I had several blows to my character. I am going through a professional issue, and personal issues. All of them in regards to relationship with others. It's not going the greatest, and I've been drained for quite some time. It's hard to be positive when you are drained. You can put on that fake smile and pretend all is well, or you can dig deep into God's heart and find the cause in your own. You shouldn't compare yourself to anyone, except Jesus. If you put your heart up to his heart, you can set some goals. Having faith is the key to overcoming depression, I mentioned it in my first book, and it's true. You have to keep your eyes focused on Christ, or the blow of the enemy, who is out to destroy your life, will feel detrimental. You have to know that God says, "I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, they are plans to PROSPER you and NOT TO HARM YOU, to give you HOPE and a FUTURE. He also says, I will never leave you or forsake you. Believing that is faith, knowing that whatever happens as a result of the enemy or others, God has your back and He has something waiting for you on the other side. Sometimes you have to take away your negativity, however, before you will see it.
I'm going to tell you that forgiveness isn't easy, it takes all you have. Most things do if you want them bad enough, but once you are over the hill of the overcoming part, it's smooth sailing from there.....at least until the next lesson comes ;)
Hang in their friends, we are in it together.