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Wisdom For Inspired Living

Solid Marriage Advice.  Worth Reading.  Only ONE THING TO DO!

11/13/2015

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Let me shoot it to you straight.  Because my husband and I messed up our marriage so well and God recovered us, I get a lot of emails, calls, texts, and personal visits wanting to know what we did, and what they can do to help their marriage. I was thinking about that this morning and wanted to share my #1 reason that my husband and I have such and outstanding marriage.  I hear people say all the time, "there is no such thing as a fairy tale marriage", and I would have to respectfully say, I fully 100% disagree. I don't buy that garbage and I don't loose hope in marriages. They ALL have the potential to be great, no matter how much they've been messed up in the past.

So are you ready to begin a new day with your marriage?

So first and foremost, above all else, do you and your spouse have Christ as your center?  If your answer is no, than nothing else I will tell you will matter.  Nothing.  Now if you have Christ and your spouse doesn't, there is still HOPE.  If neither of you have Christ in your life but would consider, there is still HOPE.  If neither of you want Christ in your life, but has a relative or friend that loves you enough to share our Savior with you, there is still HOPE.  

But here is the secret... Do you remember when you were little and you had a dream? Something you really wanted to do or be when you grew up. Did you achieve that dream? Are you still trying to achieve that dream? Do you even remember the dream?  We all have within us a desire God placed to "be somebody". "Being somebody" to me, will look different than "being somebody" to you. Would you agree?  What would you do if someone stepped in and told you that those dreams were dumb?  That you will never amount to anything.  That you are a constant disappointment.  That you've failed time and time again and you might as well give up your dreams?  Maybe someone has done that to you.  Maybe you believed them?  Maybe that someone was your spouse.  Maybe that someone IS YOU doing it to your spouse right now.  Not beating anyone up, just opening a possible perspective.

STOP!

You are still a little child, in an aging body still looking to be who you were created to be.  Your spouse is also.  The object is to make sure that you encourage and nurture your spouse to become what God inspired them to be.  

My husband loves to hunt.  He loves to be outside.  He loves to hobby farm.  He loves to work with cows. He prefers fall or winter weather.  He likes shows about Alaska.  He is very intelligent and likes to tinker with things to see how they work and to make them work. He does not like to read, dance, to paint, or to talk.

I love to write, sing, dance, read, paint, daydream and come up with lots of ideas and encourage.  I love to cuddle and I love to have lots of I love you texts. I love to spend time with people. I like hot weather and water. I like investigation shows and cop shows.  I don't like to shop and I don't like to spend money. Material stuff doesn't make me happy.  I do not like cows, I do not like the cold, I do not like to hunt.

Seems pretty opposite right?  So how do we get along so well, and we do get along well.  My husband is my best friend.

I sit with my husband when he hunts.  I help get his lunches ready, and I help butcher the meat once it is harvested.  I help chop wood and stack it.  I hatch chickens, I help load the cattle and open gates when he needs it.  And I never nag or make decisions about his dreams.  I encourage him with ideas, but these are his dreams.  His dreams make him happy.  A wife that believes in her husband makes him happy.

My husband reads my blogs, my books, my posts, and he says "good one honey".  He helps me around the house with housework. At night when he is watching his TV programs about Alaska, Alaska, Alaska, I cook his favorite meals and sit beside him.  We don't talk, we just snuggle.  Sometimes I talk and he nods.  He never nags me about my popcorn ideas or the way I've rearranged the house or the new throw together meal I experimented with.  He never says a word when there are dirty dishes in the sink or clothes piled 6 loads high on the floor.

My non compromise is that I need his affection.  His non compromise is that he needs my support.

Name your #1 non compromise in your marriage.  Do not make your spouse guess this.  Make sure it is clear.  Only ONE THING... so make sure it is the most important. This is the ONLY THING you can continually remind your spouse if they forget!!!  Next MAKE SURE that you know each others dreams and encourage and nurture those dreams DAILY!!!

Now go and enjoy each other!

Genesis 2:21-25
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.  Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
    for she was taken out of man.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Good Morning God, Thank you for our marriages.  Thank you for your marriages.  Please help us create the marriages that you would want for us.  Please help us be Adam and Eve's with our hearts focused on our walks with you and each other.  Thank you for giving us an example and showing us that we can have fairy tale marriages even after we make mistakes.  In Jesus name, AMEN.

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