We started worshiping and it was the upbeat, fun worship God morning, we had a lot to be thankful for. We just watched "Holy Ghost" and I was inspired...and pumped up to ask God to use me to touch lives for Him, in a real way. I felt like God highlighted this gentleman in front of me, to me. He said to my heart "pray with him" Another lady walked in with her children and God also highlighted her family to me. "Go sit down and visit with them".
The music simmered down to the personal worship, the intense, just you and God worship. The uncomfortable, I feel vulnerable worship and I feel like all my hidden feelings are being exposed worship. God said, "pray for him". I said "God, if you want me to pray, I need to make sure it's you. I just went through a Critic hurting my heart about my book, and I'm afraid to step out. If you want me to step out, you are going to have to provide a platform and an opportunity that I couldn't possibly miss.
The music stopped, my Mother-in-law got up and asked for prayer. The Pastor got out and said, well I've been feeling too that someone here needs prayer, not only for this, but for a wrist, and while we are at it, does anyone else need prayer? The Gentleman's hand went up. My heart sunk...
Here I was this entire time fighting the God Moment to pray over this man, because of my own insecurities, and he had the courage to raise his hand for prayer. Shame on me. I walked over and I prayed for him and his Father. The Father that had been asking him to come to Jesus for years and I knew it. I felt like the Father was having trouble with respiratory as I prayed so I asked God to clear his lungs. I asked God to bind up his Son's heart. I asked God to release him of his past and allow him to walk in Boldness of who God created him to actually be. I prayed hard and then I bend down and asked the Father how his breathing was, he said his back hurt. I apologized to the Son and told him that God had told me to pray at the start of the service, but I stood back there and fought it and that I was so sorry, but that God wanted to to tell him that He loved him and he was right there with him.
Then the Senior Pastor got up and called this man to the front. I thought Wow... then Pastor explained how just this morning (before I got there) this man had told Pastor he wanted to give his life to Jesus.
Next, I walked over and visited with the family God had asked me too. It was good to see them. They hadn't been there for a bit, but neither had we. I hugged her and told her it was good to see her. As we visited, she said her daughter told her that she needed to come to church today. That also was highlighted to me.
After the service, the Pastor said he couldn't dismiss, that something more was happening. He went on to ask if anyone needed to reconnect or connect with their relationship with Christ and if so, he was going to pray. He said come on up in families. 3 Families came up, 2 of which God told me to take some sort of action with. I prayed with them both and as I prayed for the young girl, I remembered what her mom said, and I told her. I'm glad you heard God's voice telling you that you needed to be here. She hugged me and said, "thank you Angie, I needed to be here today" which was strange to me that she remembered my name.
I could have missed this friends...I could have missed it getting caught up on what my Critics say about me, and the relationship I choose to seek out with Christ. I know it is strange for some, I get that. I get that it's not excepted by everyone, but the problem was I was keeping my eyes on me, and not on Christ.
I guess when the Pastor said that if someone didn't get a high five, they'd get a consolation prize...and that would be the salvation of Jesus. Which in perspective is a whole lot better. God seeks out the lost, the broken hearted, the poor in spirit, the wounded, the humble...and HE RESTORES THEM TO THEIR TRUE IDENTITY.
What happened yesterday is what happens when you keep your eyes on Christ and off yourself... Nothing I did yesterday was me, matter of fact, I fought it the entire way. It was a God Moment. It doesn't matter what people say, it matters what God says. Are we listening?
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.