
So, it was no surprise when I went to our Christmas program and my past crept up to see if I had learned a lesson. I had made a mistake many years ago, and that mistake confronted me. At first I was uneasy about this haunting past, and if my son was not in the program I might have actually walked out of church. So I closed my eyes, I took a deep breath and I prayed. "God, what is this all about?" No answer...
The Christmas program began. I watched as our children unfolded a story about handing down batons of faith, knowledge, healing, encouragement and other attributes of God from generation to generation. I had opted out of the play this year, although I'm positive that I was letting people down. For some reason, I just couldn't be in it... even though I was going to be able to be blessed to interview one of my favorite people in church "Uncle Bud" who at age 91 was told he had lung cancer because he had nodules on his lung. After much prayer, he went back to the lung Dr. to be told something was wrong with the first diagnosis. He did not have cancer. Since prayer helped him, and I had also been diagnosed with nodules on my lung and an enlarged lymph node, he was going to pass the baton of a healing testimony for me. In my absence another friend interviewed Uncle Bud. Immediately I knew why I wasn't released to play that part. I smiled. I didn't know my past was going to be there, but God did. He works everything out perfectly. I have to tell you that even though I turned this part down my favorite part of this testimony is when Uncle Bud shared that the Dr. told him to keep taking the "meds" he was taking because it "worked". Uncle Bud replied..."I haven't been taking anything but prayer!" I received that baton!!!
Next we worshiped and "restored marriage" kept coming to me. "restored marriage". "Restored Marriage...." Immediately a couple from our church came to mind. I knew that I needed to deliver a message after church to the wife. I needed to tell her restoration was coming. I was at peace. Strangely at peace. One I hadn't felt about this situation since I made the mistake that presented itself today, nearly 20 yrs prior. It felt like a big secret (which wasn't a secret for many years) had just been confronted and the weight of that secret just melted away like a liquid diet... we worshiped, "I'm not just giving you my sin....but everything within, come take control and make me holy...." all my guilt from this situation disappeared. Not because what I did was ok, but because I realized I had been forgiven. Probably years ago...but today it was solidified. Now it was time to hand over my own baton....
After church I walked over to talk to my friend who needed to hear that "God was restoring her marriage." We can be real about having problems. We don't have to worry about not being "spiritual enough" we can be real, especially with real friends. God will take care of it. We can be sure of that. Walking through mud and filth tends to bring us increased faith. I know because I've walked in lots of tar pits. Each time I held on to Jesus and determined not to let go. In doing so I always excelled way ahead of where I was. I handed her my baton of "restored marriage" I knew that it was solidified.
God's amazing. I can't tell you enough. I loved that I didn't do a single thing in church on Sunday except take a deep breath, and watch what God was about to do....
Thank you Holy Spirit....Thank you Jesus....Thank you God....for loving us.