Recently however, I've lost a couple pounds, and got a new career that I absolutely love. At my new career all the women are dressed so professionally and beautiful with jewelry to match their clothes and perfect shoes with each outfit. There hair is always done beautifully and I can't help but say I admire them. So, I ventured out to a cheap online clothing store and I bought some really cute tops.
I wore one of these cute tops to church the other day. It was really cute. But, it was also a little big. As a common custom, one of us lucky members gets to take care of the worship leaders children during worship, and it's always a pleasure. It was my turn this day. This particular child is the snuggliest children ever. After worship I also get the privilege to provide the announcement for the week. This particular time, as I was giving announcements, I noted one of the amazing ladies of the church gesture that my shirt had fallen off my shoulder and had exposed my bra strap. Realizing that holding the baby stretched my cute shirt a bit as well as loosing weight made it hand lower. I fixed it and went on about the announcements.
After church we had our first baptism ceremony at the church. Normally we hold them at the lake, it was an amazing and overwhelming day, which I'll share more in another blog later.
After baptism, we had a potluck, and I was able to sit down with an amazing couple and share testimony. At the end of the conversation the lady I was visiting with leaned into me and said, "I often want to go up to people who dress inappropriately in church and ask them why they dress like that, do they not know that how they dress can cause another to sin"? Now, I'm not certain if she was directing that comment to me, or if it was part of her testimony, but it struck my heart and I took it personally. My throat got hot and the tears welled up, but I held it back and asked to be excused.
I left church that day and cried for about 4 or 5 hours or so. I went through all sorts of emotions as to why I was no longer fit to give the announcements in church, and let me tell you the list was more than a mile long. I typed out the "I'm not doing announcements anymore" to the church leaders, but then the phone rang (one of the church leaders) except I was crying so hard I couldn't answer. I deleted the text. My husband couldn't understand why I was upset and neither could my Mom who gave me a big hug and said "Ang, everyone knows your heart".
Yet, I couldn't help remember the person I was before I came to Christ... it had been a long time since someone had called me "the names of the past". This new friend I made didn't know me from the next person, she only knew me by what she saw that day, and that day I may have given her an impression of who I used to be. Or maybe she didn't mean me at all, but God was pointing something out.
I didn't like it.
I gathered my thoughts together and I thanked God for the scripture he reminded me of through this time. God is a God of correction, like it or not. I like it, even though it doesn't feel very good at the time, because when corrected by God, I know that there is no condemnation, other than that I bring upon myself. When God corrects you, it is to edify you and to build you up and place your feet on solid ground.
1 Peter 3 New International Version (NIV)3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Thank you again God, for touching my heart and helping women to see that they are more than the clothes they wear....